I'm Not Afraid Of The Woman In Me
Do not be fooled by my unshaven and somewhat rugged beard, as beneath slumbers a Disney Princess. Okay perhaps I am exaggerating a touch but with my dainty hands and habitual tendency to do the washing up, I do not fall into the expected role of chest beating, stag rutting bloke.
Personally, I blame my father. Ex thespian, he is without a doubt the most flamboyant straight man in the entirety of Surrey. Well the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and although I have avoided dancing around in a leotard, I do spend most of my days off folding laundry.
Not that washing up and doing the laundry are specifically duties for a woman. In fact, being engaged to a fierce, strong and independent female, I know first-hand that pre-gender assigned roles are a pile of rubbish. My woman knows that (not that she is mine, women aren’t property), I know that, but most of the men I talk to do not. I work with women, so it is not often I encounter other men but when I do, they confuse me.
For example, why on earth do blokes talk to me about their toilet habits? When a male colleague comes out of the bathroom declaring to me they have left a very impressive deposit in the cubicle, I do not know what the appropriate response is. Do I congratulate them on their lavatory achievement or am I supposed to relay my own restroom endeavour? A response of some sort is required, as they stand there gawking at me to engage in the conversation. My knee jerk reaction is to make some manly grunt of agreement and depart, before any more interaction need occur.
Also, I find a lot of men to be for want of a better word, about as intelligent as thickly sliced bread. Why do we think it is a good idea to mansplain everything? This I see daily both with customers and staff alike. Ninety percent of the team are female and nearly all in upper level roles such as management, and yet men think it is a good idea to try and tell them what to do. Firstly, they most likely don’t have the actual authority and secondly, if it is a valid point, highlighting it to a woman in a condescending way isn’t going to help the matter but rather exacerbate the situation.
The worse part is that I am guilty of this all the time. It is like some ingrained trait in men or perhaps our patriarchal society is responsible. Either way, it does men no favours. Which leads me on to my final point. I have encountered it on many occasions. An attractive woman approaches and immediately I am surrounded by eager red-faced lads, salivating like over excited pups. Then they proceed to say something crude in my ear and like the toilet scenario before, wait for me to respond. Firstly, I am engaged to a beautiful woman, so feel no need to drool over other ladies. Secondly, it is plain creepy. Having worked and spent much of my life around women, listening to what they say, it is clearly apparent they have no intentions of being perved over.
What I am trying to say is men do themselves no favours. Whether it is due to society’s expectation of the male human or peer pressure from other men or even latent father issues or a combination of all three, men can be ignorant twerps. This is not to say the male race is doomed. There are a handful of men, who have broken free of the patriarchal shackles. Men who wear hiking boots, grow their beards long but cry when watching Pixar films. And women should embrace their bodies without shame. Grow your leg and armpit hair out, after all it is winter, and for the rest of the year grow it out anyway. For the other portion of men who have stuff to learn, perhaps take a moment and listen to the women around you. I guarantee it will improve your situation and theirs.
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