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Things That Always Happen At A British Barbecue

The great British barbecue is a time-old tradition. Want to make your barbecue go with a bang? Check out Asda's American Style barbecue range.

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Summer has finally arrived - so you check the weather:

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You announce: "Friends, let me host a barbecue party at mine!"

Expecting a sophisticated affair.Then this happens…
Herry Lawford/Flickr/(CC BY http://2.0) / Via Flickr: herry

Expecting a sophisticated affair.

Then this happens…

1. You realise that you haven't got any food…

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… so go and panic-buy everything barbecue-able in sight. And forget the ice.

Then try and carry it home on the bus, making your hand turn into a numb criss-crossed claw

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2. No one shows up at the allotted time

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Sending you into a paroxysm of fear that you're going to be eating 43 burgers by yourself.

3. The weird guys from work, who you only invited to be polite, show up first

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Then stand in a huddle all night, cracking in-jokes and putting comedy objects on their heads.

4. Quickly followed by the person who brings cheap, cardboard-y sausages…

…But who you later see eating your really expensive steak.
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…But who you later see eating your really expensive steak.

5. You can't get the barbecue started

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Is there supposed to be this much smoke?

6. Then you're a bit surprised when it finally works

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"I MADE FIRE."

7. All the men gather caveman-like around the fire

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Where they take part in the age-old primitive ritual of insulting the fire-creator's barbecuing technique.

8. It takes you a few tries to get the delicate balance between charred and destroyed

we had a barbecue and my mum burnt all the meat and

Emilia Clarke Fan@holyemilia

we had a barbecue and my mum burnt all the meat and

8:40 PM - 21 Jul 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

9. You cut the sausages open…

The first sausages are off the grill and they meet all the requirements of a British barbecue: burnt on the outside, raw inside.

Helen. S@NotThisCat

The first sausages are off the grill and they meet all the requirements of a British barbecue: burnt on the outside, raw inside.

5:50 PM - 20 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

So everyone thinks that they're going to get food poisoning.
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So everyone thinks that they're going to get food poisoning.

10. The chicken legs are good though

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Even though you strongly suspect that someone has eaten more than the two-drumsticks-per-person ratio you allocated.

11. You'll either have too many burger buns or not enough

Aquabats/Burger Rain/Hub Network youtube.com / Via gifsoup.com

There is no middle ground.

12. Someone bring along their mate Dave

Who shows up in a football shirt and mans the barbecue. The food gets better from this point onwards.
Simon Pearson/Flickr/(CC BY-ND http://2.0) / Via Flickr: minor9th

Who shows up in a football shirt and mans the barbecue. The food gets better from this point onwards.

13. All indoor chairs will be commandeered for outside

Including your computer chair - which will get stuck in the mud. You'll never be able to get the bits of grass out of the wheels.
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Including your computer chair - which will get stuck in the mud. You'll never be able to get the bits of grass out of the wheels.

14. A wasp will be spotted

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IS IT IN MY HAIR?!

15. Someone brings those little French beers

Where do they go the rest of the year, when there's no barbecues?
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Where do they go the rest of the year, when there's no barbecues?

16. It rains

A proper British barbecue happening here. Under an umbrella.

Abbie Eales@CrystalLil

A proper British barbecue happening here. Under an umbrella.

7:02 PM - 02 Aug 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

Typical British barbecue, Dad carrying on cooking though #ineedmyfood

Emma Goodwin@Dappyemma

Typical British barbecue, Dad carrying on cooking though #ineedmyfood

8:01 PM - 28 Jun 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

17. Your dog makes a new best friend

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And then throws up on the carpet because everyone has given him a bite of their burger to stop him from begging.

18. You'll realise that it's actually a bit too cold to be sitting outside

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But no one will admit to this.

19. You go to bed meat-stuffed and happy

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Trying not to think about that mountain of washing up that you'll have to do in the morning.

Make sure your barbecue sizzles off to a good start with ASDA’s American inspired barbecue range.

View this video on YouTube

Need more inspiration? There's loads of delicious recipes from Asda here.