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    What Every Feminist Should Be Doing To Survive 2017

    A survival guide for when the tired, old patriarchy turns into a very angry Incredible Hulk version of the patriarchy.

    AnneChampion
    by AnneChampion

    Community Contributor

    Start singing Beyonce's "Grown Woman" instead of the National Anthem

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    Just make this your protest song at all sporting events. WHY HAVEN'T WE BEEN DOING THIS ALL ALONG?!

    Throwback to the 90s and re-watch The Craft to learn the art of forming a coven

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    Because sisterhood + witchcraft can't hurt to try, right? Sign every petition and try every spell.

    Take a cue from your president and lead by example

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    You can do anything! Hey, we've been fending off groping from strangers all our lives, so we might as well prescribe a dose of their own medicine. Be sure you're firm, however: smack or tug. It has to be unpleasant. It has to hurt them as much as it kills your soul to do it.

    Retire the trend of baby talk or dumb girl talk

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    When and why did Sexy Baby Talk become a thing? It's the eternal question, but it is indeed a thing. And the dumb girl talk has been popularized in the media seemingly since the media became a thing. It's time to pitch these looks, ladies. They will only justify patronizing and patriarchal attitudes. Unless, of course, you are actually a baby--in that case, carry on. If you're actually a dumb girl, see the next point.

    Read all the feminist books ever written so that you're basically a psychic

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    bell hooks. Gertrude Stein. Jessica Valenti. Audre Lorde. Germaine Greer. Roxane Gay. Read them all and you'll be able to predict the future, because history repeats itself and this shit is not new.

    Read all the sexist shit too

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    Because in order to dismantle the master's house, you're going to have to know what tools the master is using against you. (But build your house with better tools, ok?)

    Give not one fuck about swearing

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    Normalize the idea of not being a "lady." Because, fuck that shit.

    Do whatever the fuck you want

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    Study to be a lawyer or doctor or astronaut. Make art. Sleep with whoever you want. Ride a unicorn into the sunset. Do it all.

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