21 Bloody Brilliant Skills Anyone Who's Had A Period Has Mastered
You could probably get away with murder with all the bloodstains you've gotten out, tbh.
1. Waddling quickly but carefully to the bathroom when you feel a leak is imminent.
2. Getting blood stains out of anything and everything.
3. Carrying on with everyday tasks even when it feels like your uterus is trying to take you down from the inside.
4. Surreptitiously slipping tampons up your sleeve for transport.
5. And sneakily grabbing your bag so you don't have to put up with this shit:
6. Cupping your boobs in a gentle yet supportive way when you go down stairs.
7. Masterfully avoiding people who you know will piss you off.
8. Strategically choosing your sleeping position to guarantee minimal leakage.
9. Knowing exactly when it's coming based on the tenderness of your boobs (and your emotions).
10. Inconspicuously glancing down at every chair when you stand up.
11. Nailing brilliant comebacks for people who suggest that periods ~can’t be that bad~.
12. Stifling a sneeze so you don’t set off a massacre in your underwear.
13. Fashioning outfits that are cute but not constricting on your bloated AF body.
14. Creating the best weird food combinations that hit your cravings right in the spot.
15. Setting boundaries.
16. Resisting the urge to murder or maim people who piss you off.
17. And calming yourself down when your period starts talking.
18. Playing the rousing game of "cramp or oncoming bowel movement?"
19. Stealthily opening pads and tampons in a silent public bathroom.
20. Making heartfelt apologies.
See also: Sorry for the things I said while bleeding out of my vagina.