Health

19 Things That Sound Fake To People With Social Anxiety

Just talk without mentally rehearsing it six times? OK…

1. Calling someone up without giving yourself a 15 minute pep talk first.

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That’s not a thing.

2. Enjoying surprise parties.

NBC / Via Netflix

Fucking monsters.

3. Having a question and just…asking it.

NBC / Via quotesgram.com

SO BRAZEN.

4. Wanting to be friends with someone and actually acting on it.

Warner Bros. / Via weheartit.com

Um??? No??? Obviously the only way to make new friends is to pine from afar and hope they approach you.

5. Going to parties without clinging to your friend’s side the whole time.

And then not freaking out if they leave you alone. SOUNDS FAKE, BUT OK.

6. Going straight to bed without first going over all your social failings from the day.

You mean you just… sleep? JUST LIKE THAT?

7. And then sleeping straight through the night, undisturbed by the ghosts of fuck-ups past.

Nickelodeon / Via Twitter: @slingingtweets

WHAT ABOUT WAKING UP AT TWO IN THE MORNING TORTURED BY THE MEMORY OF THAT TIME YOU SAID, “THANKS, YOU TOO,” TO THE HOSTESS WHO TOLD YOU TO ENJOY YOUR MEAL WHEN YOU WERE THIRTEEN???

8. Actually showing up to events you get invited to on Facebook.

BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com

Like, yeah, they invited you, but don’t you know they probably don’t actually want you to come? Don’t you think they were just being polite?

9. And on that note, taking “you’re always invited” at face value.

Who does that?! Unless you’re invited directly every single time, you’re not actually invited! Right???

10. Partying without wallowing in shame the next day at your attempts to be a normal social human.

You talked. To people. Without planning what you were going to say. Why are you not more mortified?

11. Trusting that your friends don’t secretly hate you.

Monkeybusinessimages / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.com

You mean some people don’t constantly question all their human relationships?

12. Making plans and then actually going.

Disney / Via imgur.com

UM K, but what about the integral step of canceling them at the last minute because even if you really want to go, you can’t?

13. Posting selfies without first having an hour-long debate with yourself.

And then eventually deleting it after you decide that people definitely won’t care, BECAUSE WHY WOULD THEY?

14. Seeing vague tweets and wondering who it’s about, because it’s obvs not about you, lol.

Tweetbot / BuzzFeed / Via buzzfeed.com

What world do you live in? Of course it’s about you!!!

15. Starting conversations without mentally rehearsing your opening line.

Wavebreakmedia Ltd / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.com

What the fuck???

16. Going to crowded places without expecting certain death by heart attack.

17. Speaking up in a meeting or class when you have something to say.

Warner Bros. / Via fansshare.com

WHAT KIND OF WITCHCRAFT.

18. Making a mistake without going over it for the next hour.

Yeah OK sure ~embrace mistakes~, but consider instead: self-loathing.

19. Walking away from any social interaction without immediately thinking, “I have failed.”

WHAT A NICE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE YOU ALL SEEM TO LIVE IN.

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