1. Dogs are inarguably better than people in every way, so they are automatically the most superior party guest.
2. Dogs are always excited to see you so you don’t have to awkwardly mull around the room until someone notices you've arrived.
3. Dogs won't drag you to the party and then leave you to fend for yourself.
4. Dogs want to chill next to the food table just as much as you do.
5. Dogs won't stop listening to your story halfway through, leaving you to awkwardly putter out.
6. Dogs are the only party guests who are worse dancers than you are.
7. Dogs are happy to stand in the corner and silently judge people with you.
8. And dogs are happy to let you use them as an excuse not to talk to terrible people.
9. Hanging out near a dog will instantly make you the most popular human at the party.
11. Dogs don't care if you blame any inopportune bodily functions on them.
12. Dogs won’t trap you in a boring conversation for an hour.
13. Dogs won't tag you in unflattering party pics tomorrow.
14. Dogs are great listeners if you need to drunkenly rant about your problems.
15. Dogs don't think you're too old to play party games.
16. Dogs will eat up any food you accidentally drop so no one will know your shame.
17. Dogs will not question your choice of music if you want to hijack the party playlist.
18. Dogs are the only guest who will give you a big slobbery kiss you won't regret in the morning.
19. And finally, certain dogs are easy to slip into your bag and take home as a DIY party favor.
Just kidding. Kind of.