1. The Oversharer
While these office offenders can often have some kind of horrifyingly funny story, often you just do NOT want to know this much about your coworkers.
2. The Sports Fanatic
A lot of people care about sports, but not EVERYONE wants to hear about how well LeBron Favre or whatever did in the big game last night. That’s what the fantasy league is for. Not the break room. And certainly not the bathroom.
3. The DJ
An example of one “genre” that is definitely bad, versus one that is GENERALLY good, but ruined when one is subjected to it constantly. (Especially if it has anything to do with Behind the Mask.)
First of all, you should probably keep your music to your headphones. Second, if you are going to be the office DJ by self-proclaimed Divine Right, then you better make it good—diverse, without too many classics or too many unknowns. And, preferably, no Nickelback at all.
4. The Prankster
Everyone likes good jokes. They really lighten the mood, and all that. But pranks are mean. Especially because unwilling bystanders get caught in the crossfire. You big meanie.
5. The Olfactory Offender
Listen, you already GOT the job. How do you think you’re going to keep it if you’re making your coworkers feel like they’re working in a petting zoo? The least you can do is maintain some BASIC hygiene. You don’t even have to shampoo every day. Just make sure no-one knows it.
6. The Philosopher
This guy might be great after hours, and after a few beers, but at the office, it’s just too much. It’s like getting trapped in a stop-and-chat, except you’re not on a street so it’s not as clear you have somewhere to go. Especially if they work right next to you. But hey, that crane thing is rather fascinating….
7. The Chatty Cathy
Aside from this person’s obvious grammatical problems, at least he is complaining on the Internet, rather than talking at one of his coworkers till their ears bleed. You should be friendly to your coworkers, but it’s 2012 for God’s sake—take it to IM if you’re going to be up in everyone’s face all the time.
8. The Passive-Aggressor
Easily the worst category on this list. These people need to nut up or shut up. Sure, your fellow office mate might’ve left the milk in the fridge for a few extra months, but at least have the wherewithal to tell it to ‘em to their face. That’s the only way anyone’ll learn.
On the other hand, maybe this person is just trying to be sassy. Either way, it needs work.
9. Your Ex
Even if you have a good rapport with your ex-whatever (bless you), you probably don’t want to be forced to see and interact with them every day. Thus, the old adage, “don’t crap where you eat.” Well, sometimes, you’ve no other choice. Sponsored by Animal Practice.