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Cam Newton's Pants Aren't Even The Worst Thing In This Picture

A brief lesson in how a suit jacket should fit.

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Cam Newton is the Carolina Panthers quarterback and is probably going to win the Super Bowl. But the dude cannot dress himself. And it's sad.

David J. Phillip / AP

Newton arrived in California this weekend to prepare for the NFL championship, wearing these loud-ass Versace pants, and people are tripping.

But the print isn't really the problem here.

The pants themselves are pretty baller. A smaller dude, like, idk, Usher, could pull these off.

It's that the pants don't actually fit.

David J. Phillip / AP

A: The crotch is going to get blown out after literally an hour. Pants shouldn't be this tight.

B: Pants should not hug your knees and calves. You should be able to bend your knee. One high step and Cam's gonna bust out of these things.

C: This crop isn't quite as bad as we've seen from Cam before. But pants should break at the top of the ankle.

Except that he should have been explaining to them how poorly their jackets fit.

David J. Phillip / AP

Greg Olsen (middle), your jacket should not be pulling like that at the torso. You're going to pop a button.

Same to you Derek Anderson (left). See how your lapel is flaring out and the shoulders are bunching? It's not just that it looks bad, it's that these guys literally can't move in these suits.

Only Luke Kuechly (right) is even approaching well-dressed. But you see how his collar doesn't quite reach his lapel? That's called collar-gap, and that means he chose the wrong collar type for the jacket he's wearing.

Nobody wins.

But I don't blame them entirely.

There's an easy excuse. These guys are super broad, huge men. It's hard to find clothes that fit. But that not the problem. These are rich men. They can afford perfectly fitting, custom suits.

It's that they're products of the sad state of men's magazines which constantly show suits pulling at the middle button. Sure, it looks slim in a still image on the page. But when you wear clothes you need to be able to, like, actually move.

Ironically, a good rule of thumb for suit jackets is football related.

NFL / Via sbnation.com

When wearing a jacket you should be able to throw an overhand pass (football, baseball, whatever). If you can't, your jacket sleeves and shoulders are probably too tight.

Better luck in the Super Bowl, guys ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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