When you live in Australia (or are employed in toxic work place), your chances of coming across a snake increase drastically.
As kids, some of us were taught to stand still in the presence of our slithery friends, while others were told to run and tell an adult. But what happens now that we are the adults?
Reddit user u/nebulaeandstars asked this very question in the r/AskAnAustralian subreddit: "When we were kids, we were told to tell an adult if we ever saw a snake. Now that I am the adult, WTF do I do?". Here's what the good people of the internet had to say:*
*Accompanied by reactions from my favourite show full of (human) snakes, Gossip Girl.
1. "I promptly chase it straight into my neighbour's yard."
2. "Tell another adult"
3. "Speak to it sternly in your adult voice"
4. "Ask the mums of Facebook"
5. A more serious suggestion: "Leave it alone. Keep the kids and pets away too."
6. "Tell a kid. The circle is now complete."
7. "Fucking run"
8. "Pick it up by the tail, spin it around and around above your head."
9. "Get the kids and photo albums."
10. Ask the friendly critter: “Who's a good snakey-boi?"
11. "Tell yourself and see how useful that is."
12. "Step one: watch Harry Potter and learn parseltongue."
13. "Charge it rent."
14. "Stick your index fingers into your ear, and squeeze your eyes shut tightly."
15. "Well if the snake is a child, chances are it will call an adult snake. In this case, I would leave it between you and the adult snake to discuss."
16. "Give the snake a gentle little kiss on his snake-y lips."
17. "The best bet is to Google 'Shit there's a snake here. What do I do?'"
18. And finally, "Politely ask the snake to leave and if it doesn't then call the police."
How would you handle a snake?
Share it in the comments below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.