Note: This piece includes mentions of sexual assault and suicide.
For all different reasons, parents can find themselves in situations where they have to keep a secret from their child.
That can be complicated to deal with, whether it's a good secret like a surprise trip, or a bad one like an impending divorce.
We asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about times they had to keep secrets from their kids. Here's what they shared.
1. "My (36F) daughter (13) thinks she's my only child. Truth is I had three children before her and gave them up for adoption. My hubby knows, but my daughter doesn't know."
2. "My 20-year-old son has no idea that his father was sterile and he is a sperm donor baby."
3. "That you don't actually need to have a job and pay taxes to be allowed to use swear words."
4. "That my father is a sexual predator and pedophile. They've never met him; they don't even really know he exists, and I plan on keeping it that way for as long as I can."
5. "My kids have no idea about the partying/drugs in my teens. My oldest is 14 and exactly at the age I started drinking and smoking weed (which led to way worse in later years). My son is pretty sheltered, has wholesome hobbies, and has zero idea about any of those things at this point, and I'm so happy for it. My past is a secret for now, but if it can serve to impart wisdom or advice at some point, I will talk about it with my kids. But for now, it remains a secret."
6. "That her father is not a good person. Unfortunately, she will have to find out for herself. To be clear, he is not physically abusive or a criminal, but he couldn’t be bothered to do even the bare minimum her entire childhood. Never paid a dime in child support, moved away when she was still in grade school. But for some reason, she doesn’t see it. Someday she will, I hope."
7. "Her ears don't actually turn red when she fibs, LOL. She covers her ears when she's trying to be sly now. I had read somewhere that someone else had told their kids that, and it was all I could do not to bust out laughing when I told mine and it actually worked! Sooner or later, she'll catch on, but for now, it works."
8. "Right now, that we have a huge move planned that they won't be happy about. Leaving our city home to assume a family property in the country might sound like a Hallmark movie setup, but it's really going to be more like a horror movie when I tell my 13-year-old son and 15-year-old daughter we're moving to the sticks."
9. "That 'sugar bugs' will eat your teeth. My son HATES brushing his teeth. So, when I tell him the sugar bugs will eat his teeth away, he gets freaked out, then finally does it. (Although the other day I caught him chomping the air, and when I asked what he was doing, he said biting the sugar bugs. I might need a new plan...)"
10. "My kids are egg donor babies. I do not intend it to be kept from them forever, but right now, they are young, and we don't feel it's age appropriate yet — they won't understand it. They are also not old enough to understand that while it doesn't have to remain a 'secret' and that medically assisted fertility is nothing to be ashamed of, it also doesn't have to be common knowledge. When they are old enough, we'll tell them the whole story, and they can decide from there who they want to know this information."
11. "Although we were married at the time, we were moving from Illinois to Colorado and had driven nonstop for 18 hours. I was not in the mood, but my husband at the time would not take no for an answer. I'm no longer married to my daughter's birth father, and he gave up his parental rights to her. Fortunately, my husband of 25 years adopted her legally several years ago, so she ended up with a much better father, and I ended up with a much better husband, but no way can I tell her she is a product of rape."
12. "When my children ask for some of my food, I tell them it's spicy so I don't have to share."
13. "My father died by suicide when my son was almost 5. He remembers his grandfather but doesn’t know how he died. I told him my dad was sad, sat down in the living room, and died. I left out the part about how he shot himself. I will tell him the whole story when he is older. Not sure if he’s not ready to hear it, or I’m not ready to say it."
14. "My kids don't know we're financially well-off. Right now, they're young so it's easy to keep them from being aware of it. They have the same things as their peers and don't get any experiences or advantages that would tip them off. I haven't decided how to handle this once they get older (currently 4 and 7) but hope it won't change anything once they do know."
Have you ever kept a secret from a kid? What about finding out about a secret kept from you as a kid? How'd it make you feel? Let's discuss in the comments.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
And the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org. The Trevor Project, which provides help and suicide-prevention resources for LGBTQ youth, is 1-866-488-7386.