1. When you can't look away:
Please insert your chip card and start a seven minute long staring contest with the cashier.
2. When you feel forced to verbally acknowledge how bad things are going:
I'm just a girl standing in front of a cashier in a panic joking abt doing the wrong thing with the card reader while I do the wrong thing
3. When you just gotta be real about it:
my chip card is the worst thing that has ever happened to me
4. When you'd choose literally anything over this nightmare:
Honestly, I'd rather have my identity stolen again than have to wait the 20 extra minutes while my credit card chip is read during checkout.
5. When you just have to say it:
I sure am having a lot of conversations w/ clerks about the speed of debit-card chip readers lately. "It's slow, huh?"
6. When you can feel yourself aging as you stand there:
*inserts chip card* "DO NOT REMOVE" > 50 years pass > singularity happens > society goes moneyless, AI provides endless abundance "APPROVED"
7. When that awful sound is just seriously too much to handle:
Who decided that all chip card readers would make a sound like a duck farting?
8. When the chip feels like the perfect analogy for your life:
Life is a chip card reader and I am swiping.
9. When you're tired of talking about it:
For Halloween I'm going as a credit card with a chip in it because it's fun to have to explain yourself over and over and over again
10. When all the pain and suffering just doesn't feel worth it:
Someone might want the $46 in your checking account so we're gonna add a chip to your card and ruin your life.
We’ve all been there. Get Android Pay, a better way to pay.
