Posted on Feb 3, 2021

31 Things You Won't Understand If You're Not Married

"Stop pooping. I miss you."

by Andrew Ziegler

BuzzFeed Editor

1. When you're married, you need to be good at sharing.

Marriage is about sharing (almost) everything from funny

2. But you need to be even better at not sharing.

My wife finally found out where I've been getting my frozen Snickers bars. from funny

3. And oversharing? That just comes naturally.

When we first started dating, our texts were flirty and sexy. Now that we're married, this is what our texts look like. from funny

4. Marriage is about sacrifice...

I've been married for a year now and this pretty much sums up the sacrifices we make. Mine is on the left. from funny

5. ...flexibility...

Large bed with many pillows on one side and only one on the other

6. ...and compromise.

The secret to a successful marriage (30+ years) with a shared bathroom. from funny

7. It's also about forgiveness.

Pettiness level 100,000,00...... My husband was angry this morning so he decided he was only making his half of the bed. from funny

8. Nobody is perfect, so don't expect your spouse to be.

My husband changed the toilet paper roll from funny

9. Sometimes it's better to accept their flaws than to try to fix them.

Two photos of same bed made well and made badly

10. Marriage will test your patience...

Man in the shower dressed as Worf from Star Trek

11. ...sometimes relentlessly.

Woke up and discovered my wife moved our coat stand yesterday. from funny

12. So remember: Communication is key.

Pretty much sums up my marriage.... The card I received from my wife from funny

13. Cannot overstate how important it is to communicate with your spouse.

A note slipped under the bathroom door that reads "Stop pooping I miss you"

14. Seriously, it's the best way to know for sure that your needs are being met.

Doc 🍥 @DocAtCDI

My wife and I are sitting on the couch watching tv and I hear a text, realizing I left my phone in the kitchen, I get up, go to the kitchen to check it... and its a text from my wife: Please bring the chips on your way back
07:58 AM - 11 Jan 2021
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Twitter: @DocAtCDI

15. In fact, you and your spouse probably speak a secret language that no one else speaks.

Whenever me or my wife want Little Ceasers we send each other this picture with no context from funny

16. You probably have your own special way of getting your message across.

As a very giving spouse, I was not content with just cleaning the drain. I forged this masterwork for my wife's afternoon shower. from funny

17. And they always know exactly what you mean.

I told my husband I just wanted some "shitty earrings" for Christmas. He delivered... from funny

18. But that doesn't mean they don't still surprise you from time to time.

Three text messages: "Oh the things I'd like to do to you if the kids weren't around," Response: "Murder is illegal," then first person again: "You have a gift"

19. Even though they're reliably the same in the most important ways.

He's still a happy husband :) from wholesomememes

20. For example, no one knows how to cheer you up quite like your spouse does.

My husband was having a crappy day at work, so I hid over 30 pairs of googly eyes all over the apartment. Some of them he won't find for a few months. from funny

21. If you're not amused now, don't worry. You'll be laughing about it later.

My Husband wanted a sweet treat. I made orange rolls. To keep it interesting, one of these has nacho cheese on it. from funny

22. In fact, you probably don't even realize how similar you are.

Told these two I liked their coordinating greens. They laughed and laughed and said they hadn't noticed. Married 45 years. from MadeMeSmile

23. Chances are you were pretty similar before you even met.

The first time I went to my girlfriend's house over 12 years ago, the first thing I noticed is not only did we have the same fan, but we had both drawn faces on them. We've now been married for 8 years and Bill and Andrew are still with us from funny

24. It goes without saying: You're happy you found each other.

A silly text message exchange that ends with "I'm glad we're married" and the reply "me too"

25. Even if they can be pretty annoying sometimes...

Social media question asks, "What is the most annoying thing about being married?" Response: "Not having her around"

26. ...no one's better at building you up.

Alan Alda @alanalda

Every day when I leave the house to do something important, the last thing I hear as I go out the door is Arlene's voice saying, "You'll be great!" Amazing what that does for a person.
10:28 PM - 07 Mar 2018
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Twitter: @alanalda

27. Who else would go to such great lengths to make you feel better?

My wife is wholesome from wholesomememes

28. Look, no one ever said marriage was easy. So don't expect it to be easy.

My wife put these Halloween decorations behind a door in our basement, now I need new underwear from funny

29. But in a weird, inexplicable way, it's not that difficult, either.

I love my wife from wholesomememes

30. Your spouse is your best friend in the whole world.

31. And they always will be!

What I love about my parents is that after 41 years of marriage, they still know how to embarrass their kids. from funny

31 Things You Won't Understand If You're Not Married

1. When you're married, you need to be good at sharing.

2. But you need to be even better at not sharing.

3. And oversharing? That just comes naturally.

4. Marriage is about sacrifice...

5. ...flexibility...

6. ...and compromise.

7. It's also about forgiveness.

8. Nobody is perfect, so don't expect your spouse to be.

9. Sometimes it's better to accept their flaws than to try to fix them.

10. Marriage will test your patience...

11. ...sometimes relentlessly.

12. So remember: Communication is key.

13. Cannot overstate how important it is to communicate with your spouse.

14. Seriously, it's the best way to know for sure that your needs are being met.

15. In fact, you and your spouse probably speak a secret language that no one else speaks.

16. You probably have your own special way of getting your message across.

17. And they always know exactly what you mean.

18. But that doesn't mean they don't still surprise you from time to time.

19. Even though they're reliably the same in the most important ways.

20. For example, no one knows how to cheer you up quite like your spouse does.

21. If you're not amused now, don't worry. You'll be laughing about it later.

22. In fact, you probably don't even realize how similar you are.

23. Chances are you were pretty similar before you even met.

24. It goes without saying: You're happy you found each other.

25. Even if they can be pretty annoying sometimes...

26. ...no one's better at building you up.

27. Who else would go to such great lengths to make you feel better?

28. Look, no one ever said marriage was easy. So don't expect it to be easy.

29. But in a weird, inexplicable way, it's not that difficult, either.

30. Your spouse is your best friend in the whole world.

31. And they always will be!

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