1. Good morning, America! We have an... um... "exciting" forecast for you today.
2. Today will be partly cloudy with a high chance of OMNOMNOMNOM.
3. Let's throw it over to Chuck, who has the moves that'll take today from "cool" to "cooler."
4. Thank you, Chuck! Now to Diane with the... Hey! Hey, buddy! Eyes up here!
5. Except not right now. Definitely look down right now. This is getting muy peligroso!
6. What do we have here? Oh, don't tell me Bill fell for the old "bring your cat to work day" email again!
7. It's about time to throw it over to Kevin, our veteran meteorologist, in hopes that this program doesn't completely fall apart.
8. Thank you, Kevin, for that horrifying Vanna White impersonation. Now we have Lucy on location with... well, that's humiliating.
9. All right folks, Lucy has been fired. Nothing to worry about, EXCEPT FOR THE GIANT SPIDER ATTACKING LISA!
10. And the ghost that's apparently tickling Jeff.
11. Geez Louise, let's wrap this up with... Nope! Absolutely not.
OK. So obviously everyone is fired. Please go home.
