Jean shorts — "jorts" hereafter — just may be the world's single greatest item of clothing.
You can wear your jorts short.
Or dress them down. Just look how happy this girl is!
But lately, some jorts have succumbed to what looks like a jorts flu.
These trapeze acid wash jorts are just confused.
These DIY American flag jorts have been feeling fuzzy for a while.
These jorts are trying to remember what life was like before they had the same proportions as the bottom half of a one-piece bathing suit.
Some jorts are so out of sorts they've turned sickly colors.
And still other jorts are growing fringe so long you could braid it.
And don't think man jorts are immune to this epidemic.
Some jorts are so sickly they're turning all kinds of colors at once.
Some jorts are so confused they're cutting unnecessary holes in themselves.
The truth is, many, many jorts are eerily bleached, hole-punched, and sporting very bad haircuts right now.
You can't put a Band-Aid over this problem.
These jorts have purged their pockets.
These jorts are so out of sorts they're gluing wallpaper all over their face.
And these jorts just want some drawers to store their craft supplies and friendship bracelets.
And sequins have attacked these jorts, spreading like a bad rash.
Even suspenders can't pull these jorts out of the dark depths to which they've descended.
As you can see, the jorts plague has caused a serious jorts identity crisis.
Just have faith that in time, the world's jorts will recover.
