back to top

A Defense Of The Brooklyn Nets' Cheerleader Uniforms

Everyone who writes for the Internet is nattering on about how "bad" and "trashy" they are. But actually, as far as cheer outfits go, they're pretty innovative.

Posted on

The below image is a new photo of the Brooklyn Nets' cheer squad wearing their official cheerleading outfits. The attire has been met with much scorn. Which, I get. Really, I do. My first reaction when I saw this photo was "Christina Aguilera wouldn't even wear that drunk LOLLL." Others argue that these costumes "fail to epitomize the charm of Brooklyn," as Global Grind noted. But it seems unrealistic for them to cheer in something as wildly different from your standard stretchy, skimpy cheerleader attire as, like, Brooklyn's finest plaid flannel shirts, clogs, and self-consciously floppy hats. Upon further reflection, I have determined these costumes are actually kind of fab. Here's why.

I hardly pay any attention to non-Olympic sports that don't involve leotards, so I'm not a cheer uniform expert or anything, but skimming over the photos of the uniformed cheerleaders in my wire photo service, it's hard to find a pair of statement pants. And statement pants are a defining fashion trend of the past year. Nowadays you can hardly go outside without seeing people with pants that look like wallpaper of nail art — sometimes a combination of the two. The black-and-white striped leggings might not be the prettiest statement pants, but at least they're not the same old black flared stretch dance pants the Baltimore Ravens cheer squad wears.


Above, you see the Brooklynettes wearing their tank dresses on a recent trip to Sao Palo. You'll notice that in the first photo, only one of the tops is a crop top. Meanwhile, most cheer uniform tops seem to be like Victoria's Secret bras with a little extra spandex to keep the boobs in, and the occasional, puzzlingly voluminous sleeve.


With studding and maybe even a trace of lace-up detail. They remind me more of what Madonna wears during concerts than the gogo boots that look like tube socks sewn to white marching band shoes, like these ladies.


The Oklahoma City Thunder cheerleaders. Seriously, why do they all have the same unnecessarily aesthetic-less footwear? The Brooklynettes' boots don't exactly belong on the sales floor of Bergdorf, but they do have a look to them.

I don't know where all the cool people of the world would be without asymmetrical fashion items. Put an asymmetrical silver or gold zipper on anything — a vest, an ankle boot, a sweater — and it automatically becomes cooler than it was without that asymmetrical detail. They were probably going for the same effect with the half-striped shorts and vertical-horizontal striped leggings (see top picture) with the Brooklynettes' uniforms. (By the way, another big fat trend box to check: stripes.)

Also the outfits are color-blocked in a sporty, flattering way. They look like things you could work out in, rather than the bathing suit version of Miss Universe dresses.

The Brooklynettes have seven looks in all, created by designer David Dalrymple, who has worked with Beyoncé, Britney Spears, and Sex and the City costume designer Patricia Field. He told the New York Post the looks include "a jumpsuit, a neoprene scuba blazer with sequin leggings, a little cropped warm-up jacket, and painted sequin leggings" — which, for the record, is just about how you could sum up the attire you see at any Important Fashion Industry Party in New York or Brooklyn.

Lastly, to anyone who thinks these cheerleader uniforms are terrible and tacky and just a big mess: spend 20 minutes outside of Fashion Week where the "street style" happens (read: is there a plug for Christmas lights on that outfit?) and get back to me.