17 Fashion Rules From The Couture Shows

The world’s most expensive, finest clothes just walked the runways in Paris. Here’s all you need to know about the fashion world’s latest trends.

1. Wear a baton over your nipple.

Gonzalo Fuentes / Reuters

This is by Giorgio Armani Prive.

2. Or your shoulder.

Gonzalo Fuentes / Reuters

Also from the Giorgio Armani Prive runway.

3. Marry someone dressed exactly like you!

Benoit Tessier / Reuters

The finale of the Chanel couture show was this — two models wearing the same wedding gown, with a child. Designer Karl Lagerfeld explained it was his way of endorsing gay marriage.

4. Look elegant when you trip on your gown.

Gonzalo Fuentes / Reuters

Honestly I don’t think she could have fallen more prettily.

This is at the Stephane Rolland show.

5. Don’t see where you are going.

Gonzalo Fuentes / Reuters

Just bump into everything like a drunk person.

Also by Stephane Rolland.

6. Wear the most voluminous jumpsuit you can find.

Gonzalo Fuentes / Reuters

This has “Academy Awards” written all over it.

By Stephane Rolland.

7. Cut out random pieces of your dress.


Dior couture.

8. Wear knotted toilet paper as side bangs.

Benoit Tessier / Reuters

The clothes in this Chanel show were cute but I’m having a hard time saying the same about the styling.

9. Stop and smell the twigs.

Benoit Tessier / Reuters

Also from Chanel.

10. Bring “Clueless” back.

Julien M. Hekimian / Getty Images

Not from the runways, but an adorable look at Hailee Steinfeld, who went to the Chanel show.

11. Look like you’re being blown to the side.

Getty Images

By Stephane Rolland.

12. Wear a lingerie-type onesie and cape as evening wear

This practical suggestion comes from Ulyana Sergeenko.

13. Dress like a bougie peasant.

Also by Ulyana Sergeenko.

14. Have the look of an electrocuted flamingo.


Giambattista Valli.

15. Be a pantsed version of Angelina Jolie.


Is this weirder than sticking a bare leg out all night? I can’t decide.

By Giambattista Valli.

16. Wear hairy shoulder pads with your “Real Housewife” cocktail dresses.

Getty Images

Thank Versace for this revelation.

17. Wear vests that look like “Project Runway” clothes.

Getty Images

Also by Versace.

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