People Are Sharing The Wildest Things They've Seen Happen In The Delivery Room, And Baby, It's A Lot To Take In
Cheaters, fighting, and lots of poop were involved.
Here's what they shared:
1. "Husband was sitting in the corner playing Candy Crush on his wife’s phone whilst she was in labor, and up popped a text message saying, 'Does he know that it might not be his?' Shouting ensued, and he walked out and left the unit with her crying."
2. "The doctor was delivering the baby via ventouse, a vacuum extraction. The suction cap came off the baby's head, but this happens a lot. The father of the baby thought that the doctor had pulled so hard that he had pulled the baby's head off, so he naturally punched the doctor in the jaw, who went straight down to the ground like a felled tree."
3. "One day, a bloke came running down the ward hallway screaming for help because his wife was in labor and they needed the docs to come quickly. The nurses looked around curiously and asked him, 'OK...so where is she?'"
"The color from the bloke's face drains for a second as he thinks this over [and he says,] 'OH SHIT!' and he legs it out of there. Forty minutes later, he returns with his wife in tow. In his initial rush, he'd packed a change of clothes, the car seat, camera gear, high-tailed it to the hospital, and left the missus at home!"
4. "Wife just gave birth, and we asked [this] question to our nurse. She told us about the time a guy brought in his pregnant wife and his pregnant girlfriend. The doctors thought that they were going to try and kill each other, so they kept them on separate floors. All the nurses thought the guy was a complete and utter douchebag."
5. "Not a doctor, an emergency nurse. We had a man bring in his wife in labor, all goes well, but she didn't make it upstairs to [Labor and Delivery]. Baby was born, and everyone was happy. Dad is on his phone texting furiously; we thought he was spreading the news. Thirty minutes later, he walks out of the area where his wife and brand-new baby were, into another area where it turns out his side chick was with THEIR sick son. He was very lucky it was the middle of the night so no other family was present to have possibly discovered his secret."
6. "When I was a nursing student doing my OB rotation, a group of us watched our first delivery. There was no time to do an epidural because the baby was ready and he wasn’t waiting. After the baby’s delivered, the first thing the dad says is ‘You can rub it in my ex’s face that you did it natural.’"
"It wasn’t a huge dramatic thing, but everyone in the room just kinda looked at each other. Like buddy, your son was just born, and you’re more excited to one-up your ex?"
7. "I was once present at the birth of a very white baby to non-white parents. The parents spoke a different language to staff, and there was this awkward silence while staff tried desperately not to exchange eye contact or stare at the father for his reaction. After a while, it was obvious that the father either hadn't noticed or didn't care, as he looked delighted and was chatting to the mother happily. Subsequently determined albinism ran in the man's family."
9. "This is actually my grandfather's birth sometime in the 1920s: My great-grandma was giving birth at home, on the Apache reservation, and as the labor kicked in full swing, a crow or raven landed on the windowsill. Now, this is a bad omen as it means someone is going to die or has died. Needless to say, my great-aunts and great-grandma's mother started straight tripping, shooing the bird and whatnot."
10. "This was my husband’s birth in 1944. His mom was in labor in a small-town birthing home. It was literally in the local doctor’s home. Mom was in a back room with the doctor and a nurse. My husband’s dad was in the waiting room (living room). The doctor came out and told dad there were complications: He could save mom or save the baby. Dad had to choose. My father-in-law got up, walked out, got a gun out of his truck, and came back in."
"He pointed the gun at the doctor and said both better live or the doctor wouldn’t. Then dad sat down on the couch with the gun in his lap. I’ve tried to imagine that doctor’s state of mind at that moment. He went back into the room with the laboring mother and ended up pulling the baby out with forceps. Mother and baby lived. So did the doctor. My husband’s skull is a testament to this story. It’s like craters on the moon. I’m grateful he’s never gone bald."
11. "The baby’s father was caught cracking open the anesthesia cart and stealing meds. When police officers came to arrest him, he was sobbing and kept saying over and over, 'Y’all aren’t going to let me see my baby be born?' and the officers were both like, 'Um, nope, should’ve thought about that before.'"
12. "Baby daddy and baby grandma are in the delivery room. We're setting up the table to deliver and cheerfully ask, 'OK Dad, want to cut the cord?' Baby daddy loses his shit and says, 'Not if this she-devil is in the room' and points to baby grandma. They get into a yelling match, and meanwhile the patient and I make awkward eye contact, and while the nurse and the other resident try to calm them down, we deliver the baby and I cut the cord."
13. "Not a doctor but am a midwife [who does home deliveries]. One labor, mom was on the bed just working through the contractions. Dad was sitting next to her on the bed looking at porn. I gave him a look, and he knew I caught him. No remorse, just angled the screen better. Later on, Dad was just slamming shots and beers. After the baby was born, he refused to put on the first diaper or hold his daughter. "
14. And finally, "[This is] from a colleague of mine. One woman during her second stage (where your cervix is fully dilated and you can push the baby out) started pushing. As she did she passed what has been described to me as an utterly massive shit that just kept coming. The midwives had to receive it on a large pad and place it quickly as it was still coming. They then went back to the woman to catch the rest and clean up. As they moved back over to her, she panicked and asked, 'Is it breathing?!' They had to get the husband to tell her it wasn’t the baby she’d passed."
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.