Pee on the toilet seat? I would never do that!Wipe it up immediately! That's disgusting.Leave it for the next person to deal with. Not my problem!Hey, at least I made it on the toilet. I usually miss...
Would NEVER sit down on a toilet seat without at least 3 of them on there.Eh, if I'm not feeling lazy. I usually just squat and hover over the seat tbh.Ain't nobody got time for that!Oh so that's what those are for? Never used one.
DUH. I bring my own soap, too.Yeah, but usually under cold water for a couple of secondsIf I remember to do it I willNever have and probably never will
That would simply never happen. I'm not gross!Apologize and probably laugh about it with them later.Leave and act like nothing ever happened. When in doubt, blame someone else.Clog the toilet? I usually cause it to overflow...
Everyday. I LOVE the smell of bleach.Every couple of weeks. Only when it starts to look dirty.Only when my parents come in town, so, like, three times a year.I don't even own cleaning supplies.
4-ply ONLY. I special order my toilet paper from Amazon.Whatever is on saleGeneric? Does it matter?Not sure, I steal it from the Taco Bell down the street.
What Kind Of Monster Are You In The Bathroom?
Dirty bathroom? What's that? You keep your porcelain palace in pristine condition and cringe at the thought of grabbing the handle of a public restroom door with your bare hands. You would never leave any toilet looking worse than you found it and may be guilty of taking a clorox wipe to a gas station toilet once...or twice. You own every scent of Unicorn Gold's toilet sprays and don't leave your home without them!
You've had your monstrous episodes but you aren't THAT gross. You appreciate a clean bathroom, but have your fair share of poop horror stories and laugh anytime someone farts next to you in a public bathroom. To save you the embarrassment you feel after pooping in public, we recommend the Unicorn Gold Tropical Dropsicle spray!
You don't know a urinal from a toilet and you don't really care. If it flushes, you're using it. You don't hold back when it comes to bodily functions and you're known among your friends for stinking up every. single. one. of their bathrooms. To help keep your friends, and their bathrooms, intact, we recommend using Unicorn Gold Fruity Booty.
There should be caution tape around your bathroom and flies follow you wherever you go. You unleash a monstrous wrath on every toilet you encounter and you're a true creature in the John. To stop toilets from crumbling in your name, we recommend using Unicorn Gold Citrus Squeeze spray.