27 Jokes That Are Too Real For Anyone Who Had Kids After 35
"My 9-year-old described Celine Dion as 'old pretty.' Celine is a year younger than me."
1. Parenting over 40 = constant physical pain.

@JayFaerber / Via Twitter: @JayFaerber
2. It's not a tease, it's a threat.

@YourMomsucksTho / Via Twitter: @YourMomsucksTho
3. Is that the "old lady" from Titanic?

@KeithSpera / Via Twitter: @KeithSpera
4. Get used to buying diapers forever.

@brianvanderark1 / Via Twitter: @brianvanderark1
5. Trying to keep up with little ones can be dangerous.

@Insomnia_Land / Via Twitter: @Insomnia_Land
6. Might as well be a Flintstones phone.

@PhatBoyG / Via Twitter: @PhatBoyG
7. Offense taken.

@KateChadwick616 / Via Twitter: @KateChadwick616
8. Just remember you taught him how to use a spoon.

@DianeAuten / Via Twitter: @DianeAuten
9. Not the grandpa!

@gstkrty953 / Via Twitter: @gstkrty953
10. When the music of your youth becomes "classic rock."

@snarkymomtobe / Via Twitter: @snarkymomtobe
11. Real art tells the truth.
My sweet child. #oldmom
12. Mom life means always having ibuprofen handy.

@juliekellogg / Via Twitter: @juliekellogg
13. Maybe the babysitter had a really YOUNG mom.

@erinkiernan13 / Via Twitter: @erinkiernan13
14. Ah, the fun games kids come up with.

@NorahProfesora / Via Twitter: @NorahProfesora
15. Neck waddles are the new rattles.

@AlexBorstein / Via Twitter: @AlexBorstein
16. Paper, plastic, or pity?

@feministfrmwife / Via Twitter: @feministfrmwife
17. When you find a kindred spirit aka another tired-ass mom.
How I feel when I meet someone else in their late 30's with young kids... #oldermom #30PlusAppreciation
18. Timing is everything.

@HeatherOsterman / Via Twitter: @HeatherOsterman
19. Yes, she's mine! Does she make me look younger?

@Glennydrums / Via Twitter: @Glennydrums
20. Liz Phair and donuts...sounds pretty great, tbh.

@ChampyChamp / Via Twitter: @ChampyChamp
21. The pride you feel when your kid appreciates the classics.

@millafury / Via Twitter: @millafury
22. Help! I sat on the floor and I can't get up!

@SpinsterAunt / Via Twitter: @SpinsterAunt
23. Crack is whack.

@twmeyer10 / Via Twitter: @twmeyer10
24. You need the naps more than the toddler.

@PGBarkman / Via Twitter: @PGBarkman
25. Sticky floor > rebellious teenagers.

@Mirrorball805 / Via Twitter: @Mirrorball805
26. Your old school supplies are now artifacts.

@angelaahnbooks / Via Twitter: @angelaahnbooks
27. Looks like this kid's on his way to a time out.

@brynnshamp / Via Twitter: @brynnshamp