Jul 1, 2018

27 Jokes That Are Too Real For Anyone Who Had Kids After 35

"My 9-year-old described Celine Dion as 'old pretty.' Celine is a year younger than me."

Ali Velez

BuzzFeed Staff Writer

1. Parenting over 40 = constant physical pain.

2. It's not a tease, it's a threat.

3. Is that the "old lady" from Titanic?

4. Get used to buying diapers forever.

5. Trying to keep up with little ones can be dangerous.

6. Might as well be a Flintstones phone.

7. Offense taken.

8. Just remember you taught him how to use a spoon.

9. Not the grandpa!

10. When the music of your youth becomes "classic rock."

11. Real art tells the truth.

My sweet child. #oldmom

12. Mom life means always having ibuprofen handy.

13. Maybe the babysitter had a really YOUNG mom.

14. Ah, the fun games kids come up with.

15. Neck waddles are the new rattles.

16. Paper, plastic, or pity?

17. When you find a kindred spirit aka another tired-ass mom.

How I feel when I meet someone else in their late 30's with young kids... #oldermom #30PlusAppreciation

18. Timing is everything.

19. Yes, she's mine! Does she make me look younger?

20. Liz Phair and donuts...sounds pretty great, tbh.

21. The pride you feel when your kid appreciates the classics.

22. Help! I sat on the floor and I can't get up!

23. Crack is whack.

24. You need the naps more than the toddler.

25. Sticky floor > rebellious teenagers.

26. Your old school supplies are now artifacts.

27. Looks like this kid's on his way to a time out.

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