27 Jokes That Are Too Real For Anyone Who Had Kids After 35
"My 9-year-old described Celine Dion as 'old pretty.' Celine is a year younger than me."
1. Parenting over 40 = constant physical pain.
@JayFaerber / Via Twitter: @JayFaerber
2. It's not a tease, it's a threat.
@YourMomsucksTho / Via Twitter: @YourMomsucksTho
3. Is that the "old lady" from Titanic?
@KeithSpera / Via Twitter: @KeithSpera
4. Get used to buying diapers forever.
@brianvanderark1 / Via Twitter: @brianvanderark1
5. Trying to keep up with little ones can be dangerous.
@Insomnia_Land / Via Twitter: @Insomnia_Land
6. Might as well be a Flintstones phone.
@PhatBoyG / Via Twitter: @PhatBoyG
7. Offense taken.
@KateChadwick616 / Via Twitter: @KateChadwick616
8. Just remember you taught him how to use a spoon.
@DianeAuten / Via Twitter: @DianeAuten
9. Not the grandpa!
@gstkrty953 / Via Twitter: @gstkrty953
10. When the music of your youth becomes "classic rock."
@snarkymomtobe / Via Twitter: @snarkymomtobe
11. Real art tells the truth.
My sweet child. #oldmom
12. Mom life means always having ibuprofen handy.
@juliekellogg / Via Twitter: @juliekellogg
13. Maybe the babysitter had a really YOUNG mom.
@erinkiernan13 / Via Twitter: @erinkiernan13
14. Ah, the fun games kids come up with.
@NorahProfesora / Via Twitter: @NorahProfesora
15. Neck waddles are the new rattles.
@AlexBorstein / Via Twitter: @AlexBorstein
16. Paper, plastic, or pity?
@feministfrmwife / Via Twitter: @feministfrmwife
17. When you find a kindred spirit aka another tired-ass mom.
How I feel when I meet someone else in their late 30's with young kids... #oldermom #30PlusAppreciation
18. Timing is everything.
@HeatherOsterman / Via Twitter: @HeatherOsterman
19. Yes, she's mine! Does she make me look younger?
@Glennydrums / Via Twitter: @Glennydrums
20. Liz Phair and donuts...sounds pretty great, tbh.
@ChampyChamp / Via Twitter: @ChampyChamp
21. The pride you feel when your kid appreciates the classics.
@millafury / Via Twitter: @millafury
22. Help! I sat on the floor and I can't get up!
@SpinsterAunt / Via Twitter: @SpinsterAunt
23. Crack is whack.
@twmeyer10 / Via Twitter: @twmeyer10
24. You need the naps more than the toddler.
@PGBarkman / Via Twitter: @PGBarkman
25. Sticky floor > rebellious teenagers.
@Mirrorball805 / Via Twitter: @Mirrorball805
26. Your old school supplies are now artifacts.
@angelaahnbooks / Via Twitter: @angelaahnbooks
27. Looks like this kid's on his way to a time out.
@brynnshamp / Via Twitter: @brynnshamp