1.
Parenting over 40 = constant physical pain.
2.
It's not a tease, it's a threat.
3.
Is that the "old lady" from Titanic?
4.
Get used to buying diapers forever.
5.
Trying to keep up with little ones can be dangerous.
6.
Might as well be a Flintstones phone.
8.
Just remember you taught him how to use a spoon.
10.
When the music of your youth becomes "classic rock."
11.
Real art tells the truth.
12.
Mom life means always having ibuprofen handy.
13.
Maybe the babysitter had a really YOUNG mom.
14.
Ah, the fun games kids come up with.
15.
Neck waddles are the new rattles.
16.
Paper, plastic, or pity?
17.
When you find a kindred spirit aka another tired-ass mom.
18.
Timing is everything.
19.
Yes, she's mine! Does she make me look younger?
20.
Liz Phair and donuts...sounds pretty great, tbh.
21.
The pride you feel when your kid appreciates the classics.
22.
Help! I sat on the floor and I can't get up!
24.
You need the naps more than the toddler.
25.
Sticky floor > rebellious teenagers.
26.
Your old school supplies are now artifacts.
27.
Looks like this kid's on his way to a time out.