1. Realistically, nothing could best the campy flag-raising ceremony at Thom Browne.
2. Models at the Alibellus show walked barefoot. This is a definite improvement on mandals.
3. The collection also featured a slightly abstract flamingo motif.
It was no "Flamingo Massacre," however — that sort of madness is a London-only kind of thing.
4. Walter von Beirendonck — always one of the Paris menswear highlights — showed a surprisingly sedate collection.
For comparison's sake, here's a look from van Beirendonck's spring/summer 2012 collection.
Two masked looks from his fall/winter 2012 collection.
Not to mention his spring/summer 2010 collection, which included a lineup of modelesque bears.
5. The fall/winter 2013 collection did include some fun detailing though — like these playful knee-high socks.
6. And, wait for it — shoes with penises. Yes that's right, shoes with penises.
7. Returning from another Parisian menswear show later in the week, I stood next to van Beirendonck on the Metro. His commitment to chunky jewelry is impressive.
8. Another runway featuring models with messy golden hair: Miharayasuhiro.
This time the styling seemed vaguely reminiscent of poor Viserys Targaryen's demise in Game of Thrones
9. A good indication of a designer's cred within the industry is how far fashion folk will trek to see their show.
10. Also at Raf Simons: these mindbogglingly ugly shoes.
11. Veteran fashion editor Suzy Menkes dropped some transphobic slurs at Saint Laurent.
Rolling her eyes, Menkes remarked loudly, "look, there's some trannies up ahead."
(The term "tranny/trannies" is widely considered transphobic language.) She tutted derisively and motioned to the "tranny" in question with a brusque nod of her head. She then repeated the phrase — with another eye-roll. Some added irony: the only folks in attendance with a chance of fitting into the super-skinny Saint Laurent designs were said willowy, gender-bending guests.
12. On a lighter note, though, fashion "puns" are still happening.
13. And on another light note, there was a lovely Dalmatian cameo on the Tillman Lauterbach catwalk.
14. There were also some fanny packs, though. Oh dear.
15. Marc Jacobs wore some silky pajamas to the Louis Vuitton menswear show.
16. In only 40 looks, the Vuitton collection managed to veer from retro hitchhiking chic to glamorous formalwear.
17. This trio of printed sweaters closed the Juun J show. Quite terrifying, really.
18. And quite possibly the nightmarish result of ingesting the tripp mushrooms featured on sweaters in the Paul Smith collection.
19. Other things you might do while high on shrooms: throw some plain flour over yourself, like its snowing in the kitchen or something.
20. There is nothing sadder than a lonely-looking street style shoot.
21. The Estonian rock band playing at Rick Owens were certainly something.
Though if an Eastern European band is going to play during a fashion show, as a rule it should always be Kazaky.
View this video on YouTube
Here they are at the spring/summer 2012 DSquared2 show. (Fast forward to their performance at 3:15 if, for some reason, you're not interested in the clothes.)
22. There were complimentary fresh juices pre-show at Kenzo — one of my absolute favorite collections this season.
23. There was also a large "fruit rug" or "art installation" — depending on your perspective.
24. Also at Kenzo, the guy sat next to me drew sketches as the collection walked.
25. Take a photo, that is, but just not while I'm taking a video.
26. Here's a few of the blurry (though I prefer the term "artsy") photos I took of the Givenchy looks as they walked backstage, juxtaposed — as Riccardo Tisci would want it — against a gritty, graffitied parking lot wall.
27. In other blurry photos, you'll just have to take my word for it that this guy was wearing fabulous shorts.
28. And technically this wasn't even a show, just a wedding shoot I passed while walking across a bridge over the Seine.
