Ever since two liberal backbenchers said they would introduce a cross-party bill to legalise marriage equality, people in the Coalition have been freaking out, and government ministers have been lashing out at each other.
1. Talking about marriage equality will distract the government from doing more important things.
2. Marriage equality would make the Coalition lose the next election.
3. Not having marriage equality will make the Coalition lose the next election.
4. Marriage equality will mean we won't fit in with the rest of Asia.
5. Marriage equality will open a Pandora's Box and release a plague of polyamorous marriages upon the world.
6. Marriage equality will discriminate against religious ministers.
7. Marriage equality will mean people will have to marry their parents.
8. Marriage equality will be the same as Communism.
9. Not having marriage equality means Australia will be left behind.
10. Marriage equality is just a fad.
Alexandra Lee is a politics reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in Sydney, Australia.
Contact Alex Lee at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Got a confidential tip? Submit it here.