1. Don't let one person's opinion dictate your value.
Love yourself, no matter what. The fact that one specific person doesn't like you back doesn't mean that you're not worthy of affection or that there is something wrong with you. Focus on all the people that do value you, and make sure you see the value in yourself. Positive self-affirmation also applies, but most importantly ask yourself "Why should that person like me in the first place?".
I know, it might sound a bit counter-intuitive, but sarcastic undertones apart, answering this question will help build the idea of where you stand and what you have to offer. Once you know what the object of your unrequited affection's missing out on, it would be far easier to move on.
And if you're still feeling guilty, keep in mind that...
2. It's probably not your fault.
Seriously. Everyone lives in their own paradigm, and it's unfair to assume that they see things the same way that you do. I was always angry at my crushes for not responding in the ways I wanted them to, but it wasn't until I became someone else's crush that it all started to make sense.
It's painful to reject someone, especially a friend, and especially when they approach with an idealized version of your future together, their entire being begging you to say yes. Breaking someone's hope is scary, especially when the entire approach is built on the hope of your assumed positive reaction.
Therefore, try to not expect too much from your crush. Making assumptions and anticipating something specific could not only intimidate them, but it will make it harder for you to cope if the feelings aren't reciprocated. Of course, that doesn't mean to stop fantasizing - by any means do so, as it's often lots of fun! Just don't expect those fantasies to come true. If they do, that's great! Just don't put all your eggs in one basket.
3. Don't make exceptions just because you're lonely.
For a good part of my life, I've always felt the need to find "my other half" to fill the empty void of loneliness. But every time I attempted to 'find myself in someone else' things would always go extremely wrong, ending up in me feeling horrible about myself, wondering if I could ever find someone to make me happy...
And after yet another disappointment, I found her- it was me all along. Turns out, that nobody else can make you happy if you can't make yourself happy in the first place. Remember that.
4. Build yourself up.
Once on the quest to make yourself happy, self-love and appreciation are extremely important. Don't put yourself down with negative thoughts and comments - you are the master of your own universe. If you don't like something about yourself - change it! If it can't be changed, focus on the things you do like and work on making them even better.
Build yourself up with positivity, self-care and give yourself everything you'd want someone else to give you. Want a special gift? Buy it for yourself. Interested in taking a class, but having no one to go with you? Go alone. Take yourself out to dinner, to the cinema, go try out something new - there are plenty of options out there. You won't be lonely if you learn to love being alone, or at least be okay with it.
Sure, this can be extremely awkward at times, but the more you embrace it, the easier it becomes. Eventually, having someone next to you becomes more of a treat than a requirement, which is a great predisposition for building a relationship based on the abundance of love and happiness, rather than its lack.
5. Trust the journey & let go.
Enjoy your life and celebrate every minute of it. The right person will come at the right time, but meanwhile you should just have fun. I firmly believe that by being happy and positive we can attract more happiness and positivity in our lives. Therefore, any minute spent in dissatisfaction, anger or regret is a minute wasted. Be grateful for every moment of your journey, as it's what helps you become the person you were always meant to be.
Imagine what you want and keep it in your mind. Feel the joy you'd feel when you finally find the right person, and let it overwhelm you in the present. Once you know what you want and what you want it to feel like you have already started to attract it. So relax, live your life to its fullest, and trust that the right moment will come, and when it does, you would be more than ready for it.
These are the lessons I've learnt from my own experience, but what are yours? Share your story in the comments.
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