11 Thoughts You Have While Job-Hunting

Please someone hire me.

1. Do you need a degree to become a ______?

Yahoo / Via yahoo.com

So what if I’ve never looked after a child before in my life, should I become a nanny in Notting Hill and live out my own comedy where me and the kid overcome our differences and become besties?

2. Cover letters and application packs are the 10th circle of hell

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YOU’VE GOT MY CV! WHY DO YOU NEED ME TO FILL OUT ALL MY EDUCATION AND WORK HISTORY? JUST USE YOUR EYES.

3. I saw ‘Amelie’ once so can I put ‘foreign film buff’ in the interests section of my CV?

FX / Via pinterest.co.uk

I went to Centre Parcs when I was 11 and rode on a horse so I’m basically an amateur jockey who loves to travel to exotic places.

4. Should I even be going for these kind of jobs?

Via tumblr.com kardashian crying

Yeah, I know I just spent 3 years studying it in uni, but what if I shouldn’t even be doing this and I just wasted the £30,000 I now owe student finance?

5. What if I’m just never able to get another job ever again?

PopSugar / Via popsugar.com

Seriously, what if no one ever hires me ever again and I just accidentally become a real housewife (without the money, house or husband)?

6. Who are these 7 other people they are interviewing as well as me?

Maybe we should meet up, start a group supporting each other through our struggles and whenever someone gets a job we kick them out of the Whatsapp group.

7. How do I get experience if no one will hire me?

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You can’t get hired because you need more experience but you can’t get the experience because no one will hire you. Cool.

8. How do I get a stylish, comfortable, elegant yet flattering interview outfit that says, ‘oh yeah she’s got her life together’ but also costs no more than £1.75?

I want to look legit but I’m literally living off of Cheerios and hope so it’s a struggle.

9. Please no one ask me how the job search is going

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Any friend or relative that asks you about your job search will either get the fake ‘oh the job hunt? I’m not even worried, yeah I’m enjoying this never-ending struggle,’ or the embarrassing fit of tears. No in-between.

10. Can I end each interview with getting on my knees and begging or is that too desp?

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Maybe a tear or two as well?

11. And how long should I give it before I pitch up to Trafalgar Square with a sign like this guy?

Alfred is my hero

Good luck with the job search! I’m off to move to the depths of the woods and live off the land.