Dealing with people who are always late can be a massive headache, but that truth can be even more exaggerated when those people are your parents and they're missing major milestones in your life. Like Reddit user Able_Shock6277 (or Able for short), who recently asked the internet: Am I the asshole for starting my wedding on time?
Here's the story in Able's own words: "My parents are late for everything. They were late for everything while I grew up and they refuse to care about being late. They do not care how disrespectful it is to everyone else."
"My older siblings have adjusted to this by planning all kinds of slack into their schedules. Our parents showed up late to both of their weddings but that had been accounted for so they were able to participate in the weddings as planned. The same goes for family get togethers that are hosted by anyone other than my parents. My siblings plan for them to be late. I went the other way. When my parents were late for my high school graduation I told them that I would NEVER wait for them for any event that I had power over. And I have held to that."
"My wife and I got married last weekend and the ceremony went perfectly. Other than my mother not being involved in the candle lighting. My older sister was my backup. My parents showed up 3/4 of the way through the ceremony and ended up sitting at the back of the church. They kept everything in during the receiving line and the formals. But they let me have it afterwards and before the reception."
"They were very disappointed that they did not get to participate in the ceremony and that they missed so much of it. I was ready for this. I had one of my friends waiting and he took their pictures when they were entering the church and sitting down at the back. He sent me the pictures as a text and as email."
"I asked my parents to show me their invitations. They did not have it with them so I pulled out the one I had ready for this. I showed them the time on the invitation. I asked them what time they showed up. They said that they were only five minutes late and that I was an asshole for not waiting."
"I pulled up my text messages and my email. Both provided a time stamp of when they showed up 35 minutes late. They said that if I knew they were going to be late that I should have planned for it like my siblings. I told them that I had not put up with their bullshit since I graduated from high school and asked why they thought I would start now almost 15 years later? I told them that my siblings could coddle them all they wanted but to enjoy their time with me they had better learn to be punctual.
They said I was disrespectful and if I did not like their behavior that was entirely my problem. I agreed and said I would be handling all my time with them the exact same way."
Now, I shouldn't have to tell you, but all rational people in the comment section were gobsmacked over the idea of someone getting mad because an event started exactly when they were told it would.
"Not the asshole. If they want to be late for a play, or Dr.'s appointment, or whatever, that's on them. If they were going to be on time for even one thing, you'd think it was their child's wedding. This is on them," Discount_Mithral.
And it's not just any event! It was their child's wedding. And they still didn't make an appropriate effort.
"You were getting married and they were showing up 35 minutes late! It sounds like the kind of wedding where it would've made perfect sense for your parents to be there way before the start time, too, to help with you getting ready or greet guests or whatever else," u/FancyPantsDancer added. "Your parents probably do show up on time to other things, like flights or their jobs. And if they don't, it's still on them to figure out ways to be on time."
Overall, people are proud of Able for holding his parents accountable for their actions. Hopefully, it'll help the message get through to them in the future.
"Absolutely positively not the asshole. And good for you for calling them out and holding them accountable! The audacity they have to call you disrespectful for THEM being 35 minutes late is beyond ridiculous. It’s not your job to coddle them" jacksonlove3 said.
Because being late isn't just annoying. Like user VeronicaSawyer8 says, it shows a lack of respect for everyone else who bothered to be on time.
"You're the disrespectful one? Chronic lateness is a lack of respect for other people," VeronicaSawyer8 added.
And not only were they late, but they lied about it — which makes it worse.
"The part that really stands out to me is that they lied, so easily and so quickly. You knew they would, clearly. So, I'd be more annoyed about the lying than the lateness. The lateness could be partially a neurological issue (though I don't think it is here). But the lying was 100% a deliberate choice and even more disrespectful than the lateness," SpaceJesusIsHere pointed out.
The subject of parents and lateness apparently struck a cord. Some commenters shared stories of their own parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and in-laws being chronically late for important events and how they handle it.
"My mother-in-law with a few other family members showed up an hour late [to my baby shower]. I made a bet with my entire family that they would at least be 30 mins late. We ate the minute the shower started and had literal scraps left over by the time they got there. She made a comment about the food, to which I retorted if she would have gotten here on time, she could have eaten... Then I hosted Thanksgiving on Sunday and showed up an hour late. We ate on time, no fudges given over here. She can go pout all she wants. Husband has had many talks but nothing sticks," u/Breablomberg21 said.
At the end of the day, maybe these people just shouldn't be allowed in, one person argued.
"I'm confused why you even had them come in. You should have had the person at the door say, 'I'm sorry but the ceremony began some time ago. Entering now could cause a disturbance. You will need to wait until the ceremony is finished,'" u/mdthomas said.