15 Mistakes Married People See Young Couples Making That Are Super Cringe But Also Super Easy To Fix
"Don't hint. It's not worth it."
1. "Don't hint. It's not worth it. 'Wow, those flowers are beautiful' is not a call to action. 'I'd really love it if sometimes you picked me up flowers for no reason. It makes me feel super loved' is so much better and clearer."
2. "Don't expect your partner to be everything you need in life. You each need your own friends, goals, and experiences... and don't give those up for your partner. Resentment grows strong over time."
3. "Being right is less important than the fact that you love each other. Someday, one of us is going to have to say goodbye to the other. When that happens, every single moment you wasted being angry about minor things will be a huge regret. This is the sort of thing that doesn't really occur to you when you're young and indestructible."
4. "It’s OK to go to bed angry. Sometimes it takes time to separate your reaction from your response. And bedtime isn’t the time or the place to have heated discussions. Additionally, you’re more likely to force a response from your partner in this situation versus letting them process. Take time to process your emotions and reactions, give your partner the same courtesy, and respond/discuss when both of you are ready. Go to sleep and try again tomorrow. Every day will not be bliss."
5. "Never threaten to 'split up' as a means of achieving your goals. Don't even make light of it. It's a pain once that possibility has been exposed."
6. "Get in the habit of apologizing when you are wrong. Even if it‘s been hours or days since the argument. Sometimes we are so sure of ourselves in the moment and clarity comes way too late. You might be tempted to say, 'Oh whatever, the fight is over anyway,' but I‘ve found it helpful to let my partner know when I realized I was wrong even if that realization comes late. Normalizing apologizing to one another also makes it easier to do so in instances where things are still heated."
7. "Make sure your values align. All the key components of life can seem 'obvious' to you, but you need to spend time really expressing your views and also understanding your partner's on the following: money, sex, friendships, religion/spirituality, children, time away from each other, play, and work."
8. "You gotta be able to roll with the changes. The person you're with at 25 will evolve by 45."
9. "Don't fall in love only because you're lonely and suddenly have someone. I've done it before. Those honeymoon period goggles can deceive you into believing you've discovered 'the one,' when you were really looking for 'someone' at the time."
10. "Fighting in public. It just makes everyone around you feel awkward and uncomfortable."
11. "Here's my biggest peeve: Not talking before having kids. Ask questions like, 'Are we prepared to have a child with mental issues?' or 'What do our financials look like before having kids?' So many questions should be asked, answered, and planned for before having a child. And too many rush into having kids without giving any of that a single thought."
12. "Sex. It's important in every romantic relationship. The most important thing to remember, though, is that every partner is different. You have to tell your partner what you like and how you like it, or it's unlikely to happen."
13. “Don't think 'I’ll change them.' No you won’t. Love the current deal or don’t make it."
14. "You’re not just marrying your partner, you’re also marrying each other’s families. Maintaining a marriage is hard enough on its own, but it's harder when contentious relationships with family are involved."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length/clarity.