When it comes to managing in-laws, it's important to have your partner's back. But not everyone has learned this lesson.
Take Reddit user Blueberry_Knoll_6340 for example. He's a 26-year-old guy who's been living with his girlfriend of two years. In a now-deleted post — likely removed due to embarrassment, in my humble opinion — Blueberry_Knoll_6340, or Blueberry for short, explained how disaster struck his relationship when his parents asked if they could spend the night to avoid a long drive back to their neighborhood after attending a wedding.
Here's the story in Blueberry's own words: "[My parents] asked a week beforehand if they could stay at mine and leave Sunday morning. I didn't see an issue with having them for one night. That is where the problem happened."
"During the visit, my mum commented a few times on the state of things and how it looked like we had not cleaned. I didn't think it was bad until my mum started pointing things out to my girlfriend, but I did agree with my mum. It was not a fit state for guests."
"I work in marketing, so my job is 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. on weekdays. My girlfriend works in the fire brigade so she works rotating shifts and not just business hours on weekdays like myself. She worked until the Thursday night before my parents came to stay. She was off work on Friday, but even though she knew my parents were coming to stay, she didn't tidy up or prepare."
"I was embarrassed once mum started bringing it up. And now my girlfriend is angry with me for not defending her to my mum and has went to stay with her aunt and is not talking to me. She says that I didn't notice anything was wrong until my mum kept pointing it out to her. Then I should have defended her to my mum and also not let her take all the blame."
"I've pointed out to her that she was off on the Friday before they arrived; however, she said 1) I work from home whereas she doesn't, and 2) They are my parents and I did not ask her if they could stay."
"She was unexpectedly called back to work on Sunday because one of her colleagues has COVID and was in isolation, and my girlfriend was needed in his place. She has been angry since she left on Sunday and was even short with my mum even though mum was just trying to help. Who was right here? Me or my girlfriend?"
Unsurprisingly, the comment section ripped him to shreds. And the most-liked comment? Simply put:
"So explain again why you didn't clean the house????" EsmereldaRocks asked.
As Hot-Border-66 pointed out, Blueberry works a regular 9 a.m.–5 p.m. job during the week, so he had both Friday evening and Saturday free. Yet he didn't clean in that time, but he expected his girlfriend to use her single day off from a physically intense job to clean for his parents.
"You were off all Friday evening and Saturday before they came. What the hell is wrong with you?" Hot-Border-66 said. "Also, you admit you didn't notice the mess until your mom pointed it out, and you have the fucking audacity to think your girlfriend should have noticed AND CLEANED when YOU DIDN'T?"
And even if we suspended reality and pretended this was a relationship where the couple split up household duties and she was in charge of cleaning common areas — Blueberry didn't consult his girlfriend and her schedule before inviting them to stay.
"You knew your parents were coming, and YOU could have prepared your apartment as well. Why would your girlfriend be expected to prepare for your parents? Hopefully, your girlfriend has seen your true colors and will act accordingly," Jeepgirl72769 added.
Overall, people couldn't understand how this man could shovel all of the responsibility for the home on to his partner while in the face of a judgemental in-law.
"You're the asshole. You work from home so you have no travel and no excuse. You invited them without asking, so they’re your guests. Plus, if your girlfriend works for the fire brigade and has a day off, she’s probably recovering from a hard day's work. It’s not her responsibility to make your house suitable for mommy’s inspection. I don’t blame her for being pissed at you. Tbh, if I was you, I’d be glad she’s still willing to be at the stage of just being pissed at you!" HumanityIsBizarre said.
It's a red flag, they say, and people want Blueberry's girlfriend to take note and leave.
"You're the asshole, wow. It’s not hard to see where you got it from considering your mom is also a horrible asshole. Why would you blame your girlfriend for the mess of the house you share? I’d not only be mad, I’d leave your ass because you’re like one giant red flag blowing in the wind of your mother's spewing cruel comments toward someone you’re suppose to love. Ewww." blueberryxxoo concluded.