How To Make Friends In College

When first entering college, there are a million things to worry about, and making friends is definitely one of them. Being in a completely new place with all new faces can be very intimidating. Incoming freshmen often cling to each other and scramble to make friends with the first people that they meet. It can take a while and be hard to find people that you have a genuine connection with and can truly relate to. Here's a list of advice on how to surround yourself with the right people and make real friends.

1. When your first start out, talk to all the people on your floor, your roommate(s), your orientation group, etc.

Via tenor.co

This is a way to size people up and see if they seem like people that you could form genuine relationships with. While you most likely will not stay friends with all of these people, it’s important to put yourself out there right away and meet as many people as possible. Making friends in college can seem competitive. The longer you wait to put yourself out there, the more of a chance you’re giving to other people to scoop up friends and form friend groups before you. Making friends will become more stressful after everyone has already made theirs.

“Generally the one who first occupies the battlefield awaiting the enemy is at ease; the one who comes later and rushes into battle is fatigued” (Sun Tzu 6.01).

2. Talk about things you are interested in with the people that you meet.

Via johnnydepp82989.yuku.com

This way, you can figure out if you have common interests with them, or not. You will probably meet a lot of people that you have nothing in common with. If you talk about your passions and interests, you will attract people that are similar to you. If you try to be interested in things that you’re not, you will probably not be successful in forming close friendships. You also can figure out whether or not the people you're talking to are people that you won't get along with based on how they feel about things that you're interested in. You won't get anywhere without staying true to your own interests.

“For this reason, if an army is without its equipment will lose; if an army is without its provisions will lose; if the army is without its stores will lose” (Sun Tzu 07.09).

3. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.

Via giphy.com

It can be really scary, but say hi and be friendly to all of those you meet. Don’t be afraid to say hi to people. If you let the fear of putting yourself out there get in the way, you might end up with no friends at all or with friends that you don’t really like.

“He who is cowardly can be captured” (Sun Tzu 08.12).

4. Join clubs and organizations for things that you enjoy and are passionate about.

Via giphy.com

If you are worried that you have nothing in common with or don't really like your roommates and/or floor mates, this is a way to ensure that you meet people of like mind. You will most likely have a lot to talk about with people of these clubs and organizations and will be able to relate to them. Be careful though – don’t automatically trust and see the best in these people. You never know someone’s true intentions or personalities.

“On intersecting ground, form alliances” (Sun Tzu 11.09).

5. Eat meals with people.

Via giphy.com

Getting lunch or coffee with someone who've you just met is a great way to get to know them and have conversations with them to see if they could be a potential close friend. However, don't be afraid to eat by yourself. It isn't weird in college.

"On intersecting ground, I strengthen our alliances" (Sun Tzu 11.50).

6. Know the kind of person that you do and don’t like.

Via giphy.com

If you know the kinds of people that you can get along with, you won’t make the mistake of getting close with people and realizing that you don’t actually like them. Sometimes, it can be easy to get caught up in wanting friends so bad that you just cling to whoever come along first. However, this can be bad in the end, because you might realize later that you don’t vibe with these people all that much.

“Replace the enemy's flags and standards with our own. Mix the captured chariots with our own and treat the captured soldiers well. This is called defeating the enemy and increasing our strength” (Sun Tzu 02.17).

7. Don’t be too quick to trust people.

Via giphy.com

When first entering college, it can be tempting to cling to the first people you meet and stick with them, since you’re in a completely new place where you don’t know anyone. However, don’t be too quick to trust the first people that you meet. You never know their true intentions and you might end up regretting it. Make sure you know the person well enough and know their intentions before forming a strong bond and confiding in them.

“Therefore, one who does not know the intentions of the rulers of the neighboring states cannot secure alliances” (Sun Tzu 07.23).

8. Don’t force connections.

Via mrwgifs.com

Similar to not being too quick to trust people, don’t force a connection with someone. If you pretend to like someone, or pretend to be someone you’re not to connect with someone, eventually the friendship is going to fall apart. It’s not healthy to force relationships with people that you don’t relate to. You will find people that you relate to; don’t force it too much.

"If it is advantageous, move; if it is not advantageous, stop" (Sun Tzu 12.11).

9. Don’t forget to take some time to be alone; don't let the FOMO get to you!

Via rebloggy.com

The FOMO (fear of missing out) is real in college. When you make friends in college, you're going to be inclined to be around them all the time. More times than not, you will be around your friends, often because they live on your floor, or even with you in your room. It's easy to be tempted to do everything with your friends. Make sure to not get too caught up and take some time for yourself; college can be draining and it's good for your mental health. In the end, you're your own best friend.

"If you take care of your health, avoid fatigue, you will be united, and will build strength" (Sun Tzu 11.22).

10. Be yourself!

Via tenor.co

Overall, the best way to find success in finding friends in college is to be yourself! Don't get too wrapped in wanting friends so bad that you lose who you really are. Stay true to yourself and the right people will come your way.

"Therefore I say, if you know the enemy and know yourself, the victory is not at risk" (Sun Tzu 10.25).