Here Are The 12 Things I'm Definitely Leaving Behind In My 30s

If you're on the verge of a quarter-life crisis, here are my suggestions for how to prioritize yourself.

1. Getting in trouble

Comedy Central

This applies to work, romantic relationships, parents, etc. I’ve been on this Earth for three decades — if the way you’re speaking to me in any way resembles the way you'd speak to an actual toddler, you can end the convo before it starts.

2. Allowing anyone to hate on me

CBS / Via giphy.com

I’m sorry, I just double checked the list of “Things I Need” and you literally weren’t on it.

3. Anyone I'm sure that I don’t like

ABC

You can be friends with my friends, close family friends... shit, you can be a member of my own family. If I know in my heart that we just don’t vibe, I don’t have time for you. Good luck though. ✌️

4. Being nice by default

ABC

Look, I’m not saying to wake up every day and choose violence. I’m just saying, why do I automatically smile at every person I walk past, even if it’s not reciprocated? Why do I feel like it’s my burden to make you more comfortable than myself? Answer: I don’t anymore.

(4.5) Forced politeness

CityTV

It’s 2023 and that shaky voice, sweaty palms shit is over. Not every sentence needs to end with an exclamation point. I don’t need to tell you “no problem” if we actually have problems. I will no longer be going out of my way to diffuse situations for anyone but myself.

5. Pans that aren’t non stick

NBC, Likica83 / Getty Images/iStockphoto

Self-explanatory. I just grocery shopped, prepped, AND cooked a meal. Now I'm supposed to scrub this shit, too? Elbow grease? Please be so forreal right now.

6. Watery coffee

Freeform

You think I won’t restart my entire GD day if this caffeine isn’t caffeining like it should?

7. Side hustles (or any kind of hustle)

Hallmark Channel

I’m no longer about hustle culture in any way, shape, form. I’m a hard worker, at my one full-time job. That’s all I’ll be taking on. The most you can expect out of me is mall walk pace in any and all situations from this point on. See you when I get there!

8. Men. 🙃

NBC

Need I say more?

9. Doing things I don’t want to do

Giphy

Your third party this month celebrating your big 28 sounds like a blast. But I’d rather have the Birkin these brunches are costing me. Have the best time!

10. Letting things that bother me go unsaid

Bravo

No, baby. This is 30, we’re speaking up.

11. Boring weeknights because work

Giphy

“But it’s Tuesday...” has been a part of my vocabulary for far too long. I’m done with the feeling of not being able to live life on the days I have to work to pay for the aforementioned life.

12. Finally, your expectations

Bravo

You need it faster? Do it yourself. You don’t like it? I invite you to do it yourself. You don't think mine is good enough? I have the perfect solution! Do. It. Yourself.

What did you decide to leave behind in your 30s? Let us know in the comments!

Bravo