1. You clear your adult social calendar for a week to emotionally prepare for video premieres.
2. Everyone asks who you're chaperoning when you go to their concerts.
3. You've Googled the age of consent in your home state and the UK.
4. You want to tell Harry cautionary tales every time he gets a new tattoo.
5. No one would go with you to see This Is Us in theaters.
6. Your friends are more excited about engagement rings than your beaded icon bracelet with their faces.
7. All of the smutty fan fiction is anatomically incorrect.
8. Your mailman keeps asking about the niece you invented to explain your Bop and Tiger Beat subscription.
9. None of them are old enough to drive the rental car in your romantic fantasy road trip to a cabin in the Catskills.
10. You got upset when "Where Do Broken Hearts Go?" was not a cover of the Whitney Houston masterpiece.
11. All of your favorite Tumblr accounts are run by actual children.
12. You had to abandon half of your social circle when they didn't laugh at the "Best Song Ever" opening skit.
13. Your significant other won't agree to have "One Thing" as your song.
14. You were mortified by that whole death-threats-sent-to-GQ by teen fans debacle.
15. This is what Liam Payne looked like when Jurassic Park came out.
16. Your last hook-up refused to sleep on your One Direction face pillowcases.
17. Your boss wouldn't let your title be "Zayniac" on your business card.
18. You've looked up bars that don't ask for ID just in case Harry stops by in your town.
19. It would be unbecoming to be jealous of their girlfriends, since they are adorable teenage girls.
20. The best 1D pajamas don't come in your size.
21. You know that May/December romances are fraught but...
