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What Hero Of The Battle Of Salamis Are You?

Take this quiz to find out how you will charge into battle waving your meat.

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  1. It doesn't matter, I can handle it even if I puke
    It doesn't matter, I'll end up drinking too much
    I only drink fancy drinks, so only a couple
    Whatever the amount, I won't use a cup
    You know, a reasonable amount
    I'm going for medium-trash
  2. 100 proof rye-Whiskey and cooking wine
    Tequila and fireball
    Grapey-fruit vodky-vod with Sprite
    Only the finest aged scotch
    Svedka
    Doesn't really matter, it's all coming back up
  3. At the pregame
    I live here, bitch
    Once my tindy-d is over
    Towards the end, girlfriend in tow
    Whenever my boyfriend breaks up with me again, so probably after midnight
    I've been here, but I was playing Overwatch
  4. Threesome?
    Nah, I'm good
    My tinder is blowing up
    Probably, at this point
    Yes
    Not intentionally
  5. Mr. Brightside, 3 times in a row
    Titanium by David Guetta & Sia
    Bodak Yellow
    It Wasn't Me
    Something Bad
    Some unhype Tyler The Creator song
  6. Just gonna sleep it off...until 6pm
    No food for 34 hours
    Maybe go on a run
    I'll probably have sex a couple times
    I probably won't go to bed, I need to do laundry
    Sleep until 4pm, but not because of the hangover
  7. I got a corn tramp stamp
    Insulted some lesbians
    Found a used condom in your laundry, blamed everyone else, realized it was yours
    Lost a fight
    Drunk texted my aunt about how lit I was
    Mistakenly tried to fight someone based on their first name
  8. Mozzarella sticks
    Mary Jane
    Annie's Mac & Cheese
    Whole jar of peanut butter
    Progresso Clam Chowder and mini pizzas
    Jak's pizza, Oreos, and Coke

What Hero Of The Battle Of Salamis Are You?

You got: King Carter the "Loud"

Gods you were strong back then! Bobby will slip you an edible as his reign ends, and you'll spend the rest of the night looking for your yorkie-poo.

King Carter the "Loud"
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You got: General Conder the Undignified

You will take 15 tequila shots (most of them before the guests arrive), put some mozzarella sticks in the oven, then pass out before you get a chance to take them out. Don't worry, you're a champ at throwing up.

General Conder the Undignified
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You got: Sounak (Raj?) Das, Commander of the Sullied Sheets

You'll arrive late to your own party, most of the way to blackout, and start a conversation by saying "Don't you hate it when *something that literally never happens to anyone but you.*"

Sounak (Raj?) Das, Commander of the Sullied Sheets
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You got: Jared the Darned

Darn, looks like you got conquered. You'll go to your room early, get high, and play video games.

Jared the Darned
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You got: King Bobby the Hungry

You'll arrive late with your girlfriend and all of her roommates. You'll sabotage your friends by force feeding them "brownies" and burn a pizza before going to bed.

King Bobby the Hungry
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You got: General Aidz the Cleansed

Sorry bud, but you're not perfect. You'll say you're doing fine, but deep down you'll know you've had 1 or 4 too many. You'll stand by this statement, even as you puke into the nearest receptacle, even if it is a shoe box.

General Aidz the Cleansed
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