In a recent post shared with r/AskReddit, site user u/bigbumglowbabe asked, "Men in their 30s and up with no kids or wife, how is your life?" Here are some of the most-upvoted replies:
1. "Ups and downs. I love the freedom to do what I want, when I want, without anyone to f*ck with my sh*t. But when you're alone, you're ALONE. That's the price you pay."
2. "42 here. In my 30s it was awesome. I had a lot of friends I'd spend time with and have a blast. My siblings had kids, so I got to do the uncle thing and enjoyed that experience. But a lot of friends had kids and stopped hanging out. My social circle has shrunk dramatically due to family, careers, and moving, and it does get pretty boring. I no longer want to go out and party, but I don't have anyone at home to chill with. There's lots of freedom, but lots of loneliness as well."
3. "I've made friends around my neighbourhood, some with kids, some without. We each have a table in our front/side yards and we'll randomly text and stop by late afternoon/evening for a beer or two and shoot the shit for an hour or so. If anything comes up or their family/wife/kids need anything, they can just pop back inside. It's low-key and I appreciate my neighbourhood a lot more now."
4. "Fine, I guess. I eat what I want, clean when I want, watch whatever I want. I'm also not obligated to go to some places I don't want to."
5. "Boring, simple, stress-free, and a little depressing."
6. "34. Male. Single. I’m currently close to the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m in the best shape of my life after dedicating a couple of years to consistent strength training and cardio. I’ve been improving my professional knowledge set and experience while working on personal projects in my free time. I’m hoping to evolve that project into a business in the next few years, which is my main personal goal. And I love my job and my team at work."
"I struggle to convince myself to date because I don’t enjoy the process and have a hard time finding what I’m looking for in a partner. On rare occasion, I feel a little bit lonely, but generally, the loneliest I’ve felt is spending time with people who don’t get me at all — being alone is way better than feeling out of place or misunderstood."
7. "I keep moving up the ladder in work. I have an abundance of free time and picked up a bunch of hobbies. I travel five to six times a year to places that feel like a dream. I can't spend my money fast enough and it keeps growing exponentially. I have many close friends because I get to see them a lot, basically whenever we have free time. But at the end of the day, I'm lonely and want more out of life."
8. "I'm in my late 30s. No wife, no kids. I have a career. I have a house. I have time to myself, but also time with others. I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't force my values on others either."
9. "No kids, live alone, girlfriends come and go. Tonight I'm going to BBQ some dinner for myself (with a beer or two), and then maybe play some video games. Life is amazing."
10. "I'm about to go back to school for a major career change that will take about three years and I can say without any doubt that I would not be able to do it if I had a wife and kids."
11. "I'm not enjoying it to be honest. As someone who really wanted to start a family of my own having not even met anyone yet, it feels like it won't happen. I could obviously end up meeting someone tomorrow, but it's hard to stay positive."
12. "You do run out of things to buy and then it starts becoming junk. Most single guys my age (30+) just travel. Dating apps suck. Bars suck. Single friends of friends are becoming rare. Meeting someone at a wedding feels like a zero-chance game."
13. "After years of therapy with a really great therapist, I stopped feeling lonely or isolated and instead started genuinely loving my solitude. A big part of that was learning how to recognise, develop, and be with me. I used to be the type to date three or even four people at a time, because I'd get severely anxious, and I was trying to maximise my chances of finding a long-term partner. After I reconnected with myself, I was enjoying having this 'new' person in my life so much I didn't really feel like I needed to find someone else in order to be happy."
"I no longer feel any particular desire to complicate my life with a romantic partner unless I happen to meet someone who improves my life as much as I improve theirs and is compatible with me in healthy ways. I'm not particularly concerned about whether or not that actually ever ends up happening, because I've been very content in my current, single lifestyle for the past few years, and I've only been getting more and more excited about my future years."
14. "I'm about to turn 40. And to answer OP’s question, I’m not doing great. But it has nothing to do with no wife or kids. I don’t ever want kids. And I was in a marriage that sucked. However, as others have said, the older you get, the more your friends start to drift away. And this is by far the hardest thing."
15. "I'm currently a single uncle to a five-year-old and a two-year-old. Literally the most fun I've had in my life! I get random Facetime calls from them all the time when they steal their mum's phone. It's usually the best part of my day, LOL."
16. "I just turned 33 this year and man, it happens fast, it was almost like clockwork. Everyone gets so busy."
"And it’s not like 'busy' with fake excuses. People's weekends genuinely get busier the further they advance in their careers and obviously when they have families. Things have to be planned weeks and usually months in advance as you get older."
17. "I'm 33 and I got dumped after 12 years last year. At first, I couldn't see how I could live life without someone by my side, but I'm doing good now."
"People always kept telling me that I can now do what I want, but we were both always pretty self-sufficient. However, they were right — now I really can do whatever I want, whenever I want without being asked questions or getting a weird look from someone.
Life goes on. I found new hobbies, got a new job, etc. There are still some dark moments where I get a little sad that I'm alone and have no one to share exciting things with but hey, there is someone out there for every one of us."
18. "I am 49 and I've stayed in touch with my friends my whole life. We have really good relationships. I got in the best shape of my life when I was 43 and wanted to party because I never did when I was younger. Don't believe any of the stereotypes about getting older. You make your life what you want it to be."
"I am living my best life and it has never been better. Believe in happiness and true love because it's completely possible."
19. "At 48, there's a lot of freedom, but lots of loneliness, too. I'd really like to find companionship, and I continue to search, but it gets harder as you get older."
20. "Financially I'm totally fine, my retirement is completely on track, but the realisation that I might not get to experience parenthood or family life is hitting pretty hard all of a sudden."
21. "Fine."
Shout out to r/AskReddit and u/bigbumglowbabe for having this discussion.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.