TikTok is the home of the micro-trend, right? We had tomato girl, mob wife, coastal grandma, and even the OG clean girl. So why is comedian Stef Dag Comedy going so viral for her description of a "candid girlfriend" on Kareem Rahma's TikTok series, Subway Takes?
The show involves host Kareem holding a mic up to people on a subway carriage and asking them to share their hottest take. Stef Dag's video has gotten almost 13 million views at the time of writing — she begins it by saying, "My take is that all guys think they want to date the cool, hot, artsy, baddie girlfriend with like baby bangs and a bad father, but that's actually not the case at all."
Instead, she says that all guys in New York want to date what she calls "Candid Girlfriend." "You can trademark that," she joked to the camera after introducing the term.
Stef's "candid girlfriend" is "a girl who's like five [foot] five... naturally thin, has mousy brown hair no longer than shoulder length. She's like, from New Hampshire, maybe studied art history. And I would say the biggest part of her personality is that she like, loves pomegranate. And her boyfriend thinks that's so quirky and adorable."
Stef goes on to say that "Candid Girlfriend" is never ostensibly the centre of attention, but always appears in film photos her boyfriend took of her semi-artfully posing. "The 'Candid Girlfriend' is the patient zero of the pick-me girl," Stef added. "She's not even trying to be a pick-me; she just authentically has nothing going on in her brain."
Stef further explains that a pick-me is a girl who fakes "being interesting and unique to get attention." Whereas a "Candid Girlfriend," she says, has next to no thoughts — "she like, 'likes good pottery'... All guys want that because they can make a muse out of her."
The "Candid Girlfriend" is often referred to as "this one" in Instagram dumps, where something like the back of her head will appear in her boyfriend's third photo, Stef added. "I would love to meet one of them! I'm a girl's girl," she ended her take. "I want to see you up close. I want to touch your skin. Her name's Emily."
The comedian's video got a mixed response. "Someone got replaced by candid girlfriend 💀" one commenter posted underneath the original video, while others seemed to instantly understand the vision — "Mousy brown hair no longer than shoulder length is so real," another said.
One creator, @katieenieto, Stitched the initial video and said, "not everyone has to be esoteric. And not everybody owes you the nuances of their personality. Just because you think there is not more to someone does not mean that there is not more to someone."
Meanwhile another TikToker, @chickyven, Stitched the Subway Takes video and said "She's literally right... I think what she's saying in this video is far more a critique of the men that specifically select for the type of woman they think are passive vessels for their arty endeavours." She added, "Sure, you're not a criminal for being boring... but do you have to aspire to that?"
Still more TikTokers took the hot take a bit more lightly. One person did a "put a finger down" Candid Girlfriend TikTok where she checked off all the things she has in common with the hypothetical Emily. And another creator joked, "This is a national emergency. We have exactly one week left until Candid Girlfriend-core becomes a thing on here, until people use that audio to dress up and say 'What I imagine the Candid Girlfriend wears in a day.'"
The phenomenon even made its way to X (formerly Twitter), where people had further thoughts:
i love that this video captures the moment when your friend is so right about something to do with men and you’re sitting there like “oh my god no EXACTLY” then she takes a hard left turn and you have to pivot to “well like i see what you mean kind of but like i don’t know if…” https://t.co/C57LB9WJvv
the gag is that by explaining to a man how you’re better than another type of woman and labeling her a “pick me” you are in fact engaging in your own beautiful and unique pick me behavior. like a pick-me snowflake pic.twitter.com/1g1hN2750I
The comedian has since responded to the feedback, joking that "the love and support is so big it's almost invisible." She also facetiously quipped, "Nobody loves women more than me. Ask any of my guy friends, they'll tell you."
