We've been rounding up the best of Reddit every week — including the site's most satisfying, infuriating, and hilarious offerings. Here's our selection from this week!
7. "I had the winning lottery numbers and changed it."
"I just started playing the lottery around the 1 billion dollar Powerball last week and found the odds on this game to be better. I used quick pick to pick my numbers in the app and decided to change them. I went back and forth between 25 and 34, and thought 25 would be the better choice.
I would have been set for life…."
17. "AITA for faking a serious eye injury, making my mum faint, and ruining my birthday party?"
"My mum thinks the height of humor is to smash my and my siblings' faces into our birthday cakes. I have no idea why but it amuses her.
I just turned 15 and I told her that if she planned to do that to me again I would rather not have a cake or even a party.
She promised that she would not do it and she was upset that I threatened to not attend if she planned it without that promise.
I knew she was lying because I know her. So I made a plan with my friends. One of them does cosplay and helped me out with a very basic trick. The other two who were also present at my party were there to play along and make it worse.
When my mum smashed my face into the cake as expected I screamed like I was shot. I took the patch I had in my hand and pulled my face away from the cake and put my hand to my eye.
The patch had a stub of candle that stuck out between my fingers and some fake blood. My friends came to the rescue and I screamed that I couldn't see out of that eye. One of them looked under my hand and pretended to have to go to the bathroom to throw up.
My mum literally fainted. Once that happened I called off the joke really quickly. I showed everyone that it was just a joke. But the day was wrecked. There was fake blood everywhere and someone had called an ambulance. Which was good because we ended up needing it for my mum.
I didn't get in trouble because I showed my dad the texts showing that my mum had promised not to do the cake thing. But my mum is pissed that I made her look bad and like a liar because I showed everyone the texts because they were all mad at me to begin with.
I think that if she hadn't lied then nothing would have happened so this is all on her."
20. "I made my brother think he has alopecia for the last 15 years."
"This is probably the pettiest thing I have ever done, and I regret it to this day. When I was 15 years old, I got my first job and started to have some money of my own. I used my money to spoil myself and purchase nicer things like clothes, shoes, makeup, and salon-brand shampoo.
My brother used to constantly sneak into my bathroom and steal my nice shampoo. He would use it, and most of the time, he would leave it open in the bathtub. This would result in the rest of the shampoo going down the drain, leaving me with empty containers.
I hated him for taking my things. I tried to speak with my parents about this, but they told me that I should just learn to share.
One day, I went out and purchased hair removal cream. I mixed this into my shampoo bottle and left it in my bathroom. I gave him a verbal warning not to use my newly purchased bottle, but he stole it again anyway. Over the next few days, his hair slowly started to fall out, and small bald patches started to appear.
Seeing what I had done, I immediately emptied the remaining shampoo. I felt terrible, and I truly didn’t think it would have as dramatic an effect as it did. My mother took him to the doctor to get checked out, and they diagnosed him with alopecia. He then had to start using this special and terrible-smelling shampoo to combat this.
His hair did grow back, but I have just recently found out that he is still using the shampoo to prevent another alopecia flare-up. It has been 15 years now, and I have never told my brother that I caused him to lose his hair."
Shout out to Reddit and its users for these submissions!
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Additional thumbnail credits: NBC