Here we see the humble Brussels sprout: round, proud, the opposite of candy and somehow still tastes good to some people, looks like a tiny head of cabbage.
Now, call me ignorant, but I've only ever seen the B.S. (and boy, is it ever B.S., you'll find out why soon) in two forms: the one above, and cooked, like so:
But recently (like ten minutes ago) I happened upon some disturbing news. Everything I knew about the world came crashing down. And that occurred when my manager and now-ex-friend Andrew casually dropped THIS in our work Slack chat:
Naturally, this brought my workflow to a screeching halt. I started frantically looking for stock photos of Brussels sprouts on the stalk, and, well...
WHAT IS THIS??? WHAT IS THIS?????
Meanwhile, back in the chat, this was my reaction to the stalk. I was stunned, but thankfully, my problem-solving skills were not compromised.
As you can see, I was spot-on. Brussels sprouts on a stalk look exactly like jingle bells, which I'm pretty sure are the technical term for this instrument.
Now, I know this might be confusing or difficult to hear, but I'm just going to come out and say it: I have taken it upon myself to decide that Brussels sprouts are bells, and when they're on the stalk, they are, in fact, jingle bells.
That's why they're good for the holidays.
And now you can say you learned something today.
