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Everyone's a little toxic, find out how bad you can be

Which FoodCORE/FoodNet Pathogen Are You?

What is your ideal date?

Choose your favorite animal

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

What kind of music do you like?

How do your friends describe you?

What's your favorite color?

What famous person would you want to have dinner with?

What would you bring to a desert island?

What is your biggest strength?

You're basic and try to fit in with the crowd, but occasionally you show your true colors, and they're not pretty. You're tired of being the first one blamed for everyone's problems, but at the end of the day, you've gotta admit-- you DO cause a lot of problems. Maybe next time you get invited to the potluck, leave your homemade egg salad sandwiches at home.

Salmonella

It IS you. You ARE the drama. You think you're edgy for posting Sylvia Plath quotes on Facebook with the caption "nobody understands me", but actually a lot of people understand you. No one really knows what to do with you when you're in a bad mood--if someone says the wrong thing to you, you might just make things 1000% worse. Maybe turning to your Burn Book isn't the best side HUStle.

STEC (Shiga Toxin-producing E. Coli)

Your parents just HAD to give you a name that was hard to spell, didn't they? They couldn't have just gone with like, Chad? or Bob? Somehow, even though you're all over the place and in everyone's business, most people haven't even heard of you. But things will probably stay that way until you get your Big (out)Break.

Campylobacter

You probably don't think you need to hear this, but stop being the party POOPer. Nobody likes you, everyone fears you. People hear your name and children start to cry. No one can ever get ahold of you when they need to because you're too busy writing bad Yelp reviews. No one needs that. Be better.

Listeria

Get over yourself. Stop telling people that they need to try your 100% organic vegan grass-fed non-GMO gluten free extra thick block of tofu. Stop lying to yourself, just because you wash it down with kombucha doesn't change the fact that you're eating McDonalds in your 2001 Toyota Prius in a Dave & Busters parking lot.

Yersinia

Stop trying to pretend your life is perfect to your 183 instagram followers and stop posting pictures from that same trip 3 years ago with the caption "take me back". How many other diseases did you get when you stayed in a lean-to in the rainforest? Sounds fun. Take a look at your Spirit Airlines boarding pass, and reevaluate your life choices.

ETEC

How's that identity crisis going? Are you tired of being confused with STEC yet? Are you even a real foodborne illness? You're so two-faced, your ideal vacation is a day trip to Disney Land and a night trip that ends you up in county jail. A piece of advice: figure yourself out, maybe borrow a self-help book from Salmonella, and chill out with a Bob Ross painting video.

Shigella

Honey, I know we're in a pandemic, but tone down the escapism, we don't want to hear about your daydreams anymore. You're not fooling anyone with the stock photo tropical island Zoom background you have and the fact that you're wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Summer's not the only time to live it up. Take a page out of ETEC's book and actually do something for yourself for once.

Cyclospora

It's time to give up your 1800s fishermancore aesthetic, singing sea shanties isn't a personality trait. Try spending some time in places other than the beach, the oyster bar can wait! I hear the mountains are nice this time of year, but I'm not sure the people who live there will be happy when you show up. Maybe they will appreciate your latest catch, but don't clean and gut the fish in front of them, people aren't impressed by that.

Vibrio

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Which FoodCORE/FoodNet Pathogen Are You?

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