Dear "Tiny House Hunters" People: Please Answer These Questions
There is so much I want to understand.
For those of us who live in non-tiny homes, Tiny House Hunters, the latest iteration of the greatest franchise on television, can be a bit confusing.
And even after a few seasons, there's a lot we still want to know. So please, tiny house–dwelling folks, answer these questions for us.
1. What actually qualifies, in your mind, as a "tiny house"?
2. Have you ever seen a studio apartment in Manhattan, and if so, would you consider that to fall under those criteria?
3. Was your realtor a little annoyed because they knew their commission wouldn't be as much?
4. Are there tiny house fixer-uppers and short sales, or is that just for bigger houses?
5. Be honest — how much did you really know about yurts before starting your tiny house hunt?
6. Be honest — how much do you really know about yurts even after getting a tiny house?
7. If you had a larger family, would you still want to do the tiny house thing?
8. If so...why? (I'm looking at you, family with four kids.)
9. What does the rest of your family think about your decision to live in a tiny house?
10. If you want a pet, does it need to be a tiny pet, like a hamster or something?
11. How frequently do you plan on moving your house around, if at all?
12. How do you choose which friend's place to park your house at until you can buy your own plot of land?
13. Do your friends actually want you to come and stay on their property for an undetermined period of time, or are they just being nice?
14. Is it tough to get someone to come and install cable and wifi?
15. What does it take to disaster-proof a tiny house (as in, prepare for earthquakes, tornadoes, etc.)?
16. How do you decide which possessions of yours to get rid of if there's not a lot of storage?
17. Do you have to be a really neat person to live in such a small space?
18. Like, can you just take your shoes off and throw them on the floor like most people, or do you have to put everything in a very specific place?
19. Do you ever get claustrophobic?
20. Do people even come over at all? Like, can they fit?
21. When is the last time you threw a dinner party, and how did that work?
22. Is it awkward when you have guests over and someone needs to fart in such a small space?
23. Is it even more awkward if someone needs to poop?
24. And can everyone hear you peeing?
25. Is there soundproofing...at all?
26. Can you have ~overnight visitors~ without things getting uncomfortable?
27. How often do you hit your head on the ceiling when you wake up?
28. Are there tiny bed frames for sale somewhere or do you just have to put your mattress directly on the floor?
29. Why do you seem to expect that a full-sized kitchen will fit into your 150 sq. foot house?
30. Oh, and do you end up having to order a lot of takeout because the kitchens are so small?
31. Are you hoping to put in tiny granite countertops, at least?
32. Do you have to take out the trash all the time so it doesn't start to stink up the whole house?
33. What's up with those bathrooms that are just a toilet, shower, and sink combined into the same 10 square feet?
34. Why do you always ask if a bathtub will fit in your tiny house? IT WON'T.
35. Do you ever have a hard time maneuvering in the shower and just give up trying to get fully clean?
36. Is it hard to get up the ladder to the loft/sleeping area after having a few drinks?
37. How many times have you fallen off the ladder/loft?
38. If there are two people and one wants to sleep while the other wants to stay awake, how do you choose if the light stays on or goes off?
39. Do you ever get into fights because of noise/light issues like this?
40. Is there even enough space to have a fight?
41. And do you feel silly when you complain about not having enough space for something and then remember that, like...you chose to live in a tiny house?