15 Episodes Of "New Girl" That Make Me Laugh Every. Single. Time.

    "I accidentally saw Nick's pee-pee and his bubbles. But it's not a big deal. Ain't no thing. Ain't no thaaang."

    aburrowemu
    by aburrowemu

    Community Contributor

    BuzzFeed Community Team
    Approved and edited by BuzzFeed Community Team

    1. "Naked" (Season 1, Episode 4)

    Nick and his date in a state of half dress freaking out and pulling their clothes back on
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    Nick lands a date with his coworker Amanda, but when Jess accidentally walks in on him naked and laughs, his self-confidence plummets.

    Funniest Quote: "I accidentally saw Nick's pee-pee and his bubbles. But it's not a big deal. Ain't no thing. Ain't no thaaang."

    2. "Injured" (Season 1, Episode 15)

    Nick laying on the ground saying go far from me right now i can taste my spine
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    When Nick gets hurt playing football, the gang finds out he doesn't have health insurance and they band together to help their friend.

    Funniest Quote: "Are you sure you're okay? You're walking like a Disney witch. Let me drive you to your doctor."

    3. "Secrets" (Season 1, Episode 19)

    jess sitting at a table having an intense discussion with cece and schmidt
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    When Jess finds out from Nick that CeCe and Schmidt have been sneaking around together, her relationship with CeCe becomes strained.

    Funniest Quote: "You've all thought about me while self-completing?!"


    4. "Katie" (Season 2, Episode 2)

    jess standing in a robe with her arms out
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    At the bar, a man mistakes Jess for his blind date, Katie. Jess plays along and pretends to be someone she isn't.

    Funniest Quote: "If we make love later, and I tell you to pretend that I'm a scary ghost, are you gonna be weirded out by that?"

    5. "Menzies" (Season 2, Episode 7)

    Jess saying I feel like I want to murder someone and also I want soft pretzels
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    Out of work and unable to make rent, the boys tell Jess she needs to get a job. Because she's on her period, she becomes emotional and lashes out.

    Funniest Quote: : "I was sabotaged by my baby box, which means I will never trust anything that comes out of it."

    6. "The Cabin" (Season 2, Episode 12)

    i like dogs more than cats i like chipmunks more than squirrels i believe in UFOs i once had a bass teacher when i was younger who did the standing bass and he had a very weird smell and i still think about him his name was mr hilton
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    When Sam invites Jess on a weekend getaway to his boss's cabin, she gets nervous and invites Nick and his new girlfriend. She soon learns that inviting them may have been a mistake.

    Funniest Quote: "Can we just concentrate on the fact that like I was tripping pretty hard on the Absinthe and I said no to a stripper."

    7. "Pepperwood" (Season 2, Episode 14)

    jess saying hey and nick saying alright honey i'll take em off who that's a whole different lens to see that blue dress
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    Nick becomes concerned for Jess' safety when he reads a story one of her students turned in. He goes undercover in her classroom to try to find out the truth.

    Funniest Quote: "They make shoes for your penis! They're called pants!"

    8. "Cooler" (Season 2, Episode 15)

    nick in a trench quote saying when i wear it i feel hot to trot
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    Nick and Schmidt won't let Jess go out with them because she seems to get in the way of Nick finding women.

    Funniest Quote: "What is the big deal? Let's just suck it up and French a little."

    9. "Table 34" (Season 2, Episode 16)

    Schmidt saying i will cal-cut-a bitch up in here
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    Nick and Jess try to avoid each other, but end up at the same place — an Indian marriage convention. CeCe tries to find someone from her own culture, and Schmidt tries to win her back.

    Funniest Quote: "Hey, M. Night Shyamalan. I've got a twist ending for you: shut up!"

    10. "Virgins" (Season 2, Episode 23)

    College schmidt saying if i pee while it's happening will she die?
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    The gang reminisces on how they each lost their virginity, and argue about whose story is the worst.

    Funniest Quote: "Aren't you a virgin, too? Winston: Just my penis, baby. Just my penis."

    11. "Elaine's Big Day" (Season 2, Episode 25)

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    It's CeCe's wedding day, Nick and Jess make a decision about their relationship, and Winston pulls Nick and Schmidt into one of his pranks.

    Funniest Quote: "I don't think the badger's actually rabid, I think he's just kind of a dick."

    12. "Background Check" (Season 4, Episode 6)

    jess saying wait sergeant my name is jessica day and this is my meth
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    Winston has to undergo a background check in the loft as part of his police academy training, but things go wrong when Jess tells the gang she has drugs in her closet.

    Funniest Quote: "I’m pretty sure they call her ‘The Fish’ because she’s tough, but fair, like a lot of fish I’ve met."

    13. "Walk of Shame" (Season 4, Episode 18)

    cece saying we need to go walk of shame let's make a move
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    After staying the night at Bearclaw's house, Jess and CeCe have to do the walk of shame home after learning their car has been towed.

    Funniest Quote: “You ladies need to be very careful. A blowout can give a woman too much confidence. Make them take on things they can’t handle… Hillary Clinton.”

    14. "Road Trip" (Season 5, Episode 17)

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    Schmidt feels emasculated, so he takes the boys on a road trip for his bachelor party, but the trip goes awry when a fight breaks out.

    Funniest Quote: "Just because a scary man yelled his name in your face doesn't mean you can't like sake baths."

    15. "A Chill Day In" (Season 5, Episode 18)

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    Jess and CeCe get high and destroy a wedding gift from Schmidt's mom, and due to their impaired judgment, they attempt to shoplift a replacement.

    Funniest Quote: "I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell."

    Watch more classic New Girl episodes on Peacock!

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