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Which Squirrel Eating Human Food Should Be On Your Thesis Defense Committee?

The start of the semester has rolled in, bringing heightened levels of congestion and confusion to all of our lives. As a typical time to look forward at what the year has in store, whether you're a bewildered first year or a jaded sixth year, it's never too early for people to subtly imply they definitely know who should be on your thesis defense committee. But who could possibly be better than a squirrel resident of UIUC munching on people food?

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  1. Choose a mathematically criminal offense:
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Correct
    Incorrect
  2. Choose a writing-math-with-angst movie scene:
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Super angsty mirror writing from Good Will Hunting
    Super angsty mirror writing from Good Will Hunting
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The fate of the world being on his shoulders gives us angsty Turing in The Imitation Game
    The fate of the world being on his shoulders gives us angsty Turing in The Imitation Game
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Also angsty about dying of TB, Ramanujan writing in The Man Who Knew Infinity
    Also angsty about dying of TB, Ramanujan writing in The Man Who Knew Infinity
    Correct
    Incorrect
    John Nash is the definition of angst in A Beautiful Mind
    John Nash is the definition of angst in A Beautiful Mind
  3. Choose an office decoration to make your students feel more welcome:
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Glove holding lemon with tongue
    Glove holding lemon with tongue
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Pokemon Dream Catcher
    Pokemon Dream Catcher
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The Rock bobblehead
    The Rock bobblehead
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Ferbies
    Ferbies
  4. Choose a mathematician that you will go back in time and explain internet memes to:
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Paul Erdos
    Paul Erdos
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Emmy Noether
    Emmy Noether
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Alexander Grothendieck
    Alexander Grothendieck
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Kurt Godel
    Kurt Godel
  5. Choose an emergency caffeinated beverage to leave Altgeld for:
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Starbucks Caramel Frappucino
    Starbucks Caramel Frappucino
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Caffe Bene matcha latte
    Caffe Bene matcha latte
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Black DD coffee
    Black DD coffee
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Espresso iced coffee with cream
    Espresso iced coffee with cream
  6. Choose a method of evading your adviser after not making the specific edits he asked for:
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Wearing a suit shaped like a turtle shell
    Wearing a suit shaped like a turtle shell
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Sneaking past him on a hoverboard
    Sneaking past him on a hoverboard
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Zooming through Altgeld on your sick heelies
    Zooming through Altgeld on your sick heelies
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Filling the common room with an abundance of mini cheesecakes as a diversion
    Filling the common room with an abundance of mini cheesecakes as a diversion
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