Hammerkatz, a sketch comedy group out of NYU, made this hilarious parody video showing what it would look like if men wrote tampon commercials.
Since periods are unpredictable, sometimes coming twice or 15 times a month (sometimes even 100 times a day, right, ladies?) you need a tampon brand you can count on.
According to the commercial, this tampon "absorbs 75% more blood, sweat, tears, mucous, and Cool Blue Gatorade than the competing brand."
And it will definitely fit your butthole, because that's where tampons go.