1. Edvard Munch’s “The Scream”
How long does it take to spend $120 million? 12 minutes, apparently: Norwegian artist Edvard Munch’s iconic painting went for a record-breaking (and incredibly hard to count to) $119,922,500 just a few short weeks ago, bought by a telephone bidder in less than a quarter of an hour. How much did you drop on that Dark Knight Rises poster at Comic-Con, again?
2. This Rare Tyrannosaurus Skeleton
Any interest in snagging a near-complete dino skeleton to complement your top secret island fortress and/or evil underground lair? This tyrannosaurus skeleton just went for a cool mil to an anonymous bidder, who will (presumably) use their newfound friend’s fossils to clone an army of sinister dinos in a bid for world domination. Or it’ll be a really fancy conversation piece for the living room — you know, whatever works.
3. Nicolas Cage’s Action Comics #1
The only thing that could possibly raise the price of a mint condition Action Comics #1 — the very first appearance of a certain spit-curled Kryptonian — is if it was originally owned by ubiquitous actor Nicolas Cage. The comic was stolen from the actor’s estate in early 2000, and didn’t resurface until over a decade later, when it was discovered in a dusty San Fernando Valley storage locker. The comic was eventually auctioned off for a record $2.16 million, but, sadly, the Wicker Man himself didn’t see a dime.
4. A Private Jet
Public transit is stuffy, smelly, and most importantly, it’s for suckers. Bypass the bus and head straight for the skies with your own high-end private jet, like the luxurious Grumman Gulfstream II. This majestic jet sold on auction site eBay for a staggering $4.9 million dollars back in 2001, an impressive price that kicked off the site’s aviation category in style. Question: if your purchase can be flown directly to you, do you still have to pay shipping and handling?
5. Elvis Presley’s Hair
There’s a big underrated benefit to being rich and famous that too many aspiring socialites overlook: once you’re dead, people will want to buy your hair. For thousands and thousands of dollars. Take legendary crooner Elvis Presley, for example, who’s signature locks just went for a staggering $15,000 at an all-Elvis auction in Chicago. Here’s hoping the winning bid was part of a super secret initiative to clone Sir Swivel Hips for modern audiences — we’re sick and tired of that hologram nonsense.
6. Leonardo DaVinci’s Codex Leicester
How much would you pay to read the scientific speculations of the Renaissance’s greatest thinker? Microsoft founder Bill Gates dropped a whopping $30.8 million when the codex was last auctioned, and subsequently had many of its pages scanned and distributed on a CD-ROM. The book includes ahead-of-their-time theories on the tectonic plates, the phenomenon of planetshine, and some surprisingly decent Mad Men fan-fiction.
7. The Camera That George Lucas Shot Star Wars On
Breaking the records for both Star Wars memorabilia and vintage Hollywood film cameras, the Panavision that originally filmed Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope went for a whopping $625,000 at an auction late last year. Next year: the same auction, but digitally “remastered” by George Lucas so that another camera shoots first.
8. Marilyn Monroe’s Iconic Dress
It might be hard to justify spending $4.6 million on a single slip of pleated cloth, but when its one of the most iconic articles of clothing this side of Audrey Hepburn’s little black dress from Breakfast at Tiffany, the price-tag becomes just a bit easier to swallow.
9. The World’s Most Expensive Burger
The absolute best part of winning the lottery is never having to scarf down another forkful of ramen. This record-breaking burger is being auctioned for an unheard-of $10,000, with ingredients including Wagyu beef, white truffles, pricey Spanish ham, a handmade brioche bun, and a 24-karat gold leaf, naturally. Question: if you eat this burger while drinking a $1 Arizona Iced Tea, will it create some kind of reality-warping price paradox?
10. Your Own Private Island
Second best part about winning the lottery: never having to deal with the working class ever again. Escape from the depressing blue-and-white-collared crowds by buying your very own private island off the coast of Vancouver — an absolute steal at $75 million, we’re sure. The 780-acre island includes six guest cottages, a 5,000 square foot manor, and a private air strip.