Tell Us About Yourself(ie): Michael Malarkey

The actor takes our Q&A!

Laretta Houston / Brett Falcon / Getty Images. Chris Ritter / BuzzFeed.

What's your wallpaper on your phone and/or computer?

Egon Schiele “The Embrace" (Lovers II).

When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?

A good bourbon or an imperial stout.

What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?

“Yeahman.”

What is the last thing you searched for on Google?

“Do I have ADD?”

Who is the last person that called or texted you?

Paul Wesley.

What was the last awkward situation you were in and how did you handle it?

I inexcusably forgot my wife’s birthday this year. I attempted to mediate the situation by taking her on a shopping spree.

When is the last time you went to a theater?

Eons ago. I have a newborn.

What TV show should everyone should be watching?

The first season of True Detective was sensational.

And what is your TV guilty pleasure?

Weeds.

What's the first CD you bought?

Reel Big Fish “Turn the Radio Off.” I was one of those '90s ska hooligans.

What is the one food you cannot resist?

Oysters.

What music are you currently listening to?

The record I’m listening to as we speak is “Bye Bye 17” by Har Mar Superstar. Funky fresh.

What movie makes you laugh the most?

Withnail & I. Absolute classic that never gets old.

What drives you absolutely crazy?

When people say they’re bored.

What was your first online screen name?

batteredmensclinic.

What's your favorite emoji?

The smiley poo.

Pick one: Kittens or puppies?

Puppies.

New York or Los Angeles?

London.

Comedy or drama?

Drama.

Bacon or Nutella?

Bacon.

Coffee or tea?

Coffee.

'80s or ‘90s?

'80s.

NSYNC or BSB?

No.

Hannah Montana or Lizzie McGuire?

Still no.

And finally: Tell us a secret.

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream.

The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8/7c on The CW.