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31 Life Lessons Learned From The Bailey School Kids

You know what would be helpful, though? Books about what these monsters and creatures actually do.

1. Zombies don’t play soccer.

2. Ghosts don’t eat potato chips.

3. Werewolves don’t go to summer camp.

4. Pirates don’t wear pink sunglasses.

5. Ninjas don’t bake pumpkin pies.

6. Mermaids don’t run track.

7. Wizards don’t need computers.

8. Genies don’t ride bicycles.

9. Goblins don’t play video games.

10. Aliens don’t wear braces.

11. Leprechauns don’t play basketball.

12. Angels don’t know karate.

13. Dracula doesn’t drink lemonade.

14. Unicorns don’t give sleigh rides.

15. Robots don’t catch chicken pox.

16. Wolfmen don’t hula dance.

17. Giants don’t go snowboarding.

18. Phantoms don’t drive sports cars.

19. Sea monsters don’t ride motorcycles.

20. The Abominable Snowman doesn’t roast marshmallows.

21. Bogeymen don’t play football.

22. Cupid doesn’t flip hamburgers.

23. Frankenstein doesn’t start food fights.

24. The Bride of Frankenstein doesn’t bake cookies.

25. Sea serpents don’t juggle water balloons.

26. Vampires don’t wear polka dots.

27. Ghosts don’t ride wild horses.

28. Swamp monsters don’t chase wild turkeys.

29. Dragons don’t cook pizza.

30. Vikings don’t wear wrestling belts.

31. and ghouls don’t scoop ice cream. Ever.

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