1. Let the record show, the struggle is not real
2. The pop-tart is no longer king
3. Your silverware is so basic
4. Smokey the Bear was a big deal for us
5. Celebrate your next promotion with dry food softener
6. Rich a-hole, there's no app for that
7. And you thought two-ply was a luxury
8. Is your rug even endangered, bro?
9. It's like your Tamagotchi, but not
10. The grass is greener on the private island
11. Feel the waves of entitlement wash over you
12. Hopefully it's pee
13. Moats, amirite?
14. Life hack, only $1000
15. That maid must feel so lucky
16. So noble
17. It's not that we hate you - wait, no, that's it.
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