The USA Women’s Gymnastics Team Are Actually Robots

Seriously, they’re full of circuits and what-not. Much love, Virgin Mobile

1. In 2012 the United States deployed a secret army of automatons

2. Fembots, devoid of emotion

3. They marched into battle

4. with robotic precision

5. and disdain for their human foes

7. Not programmed to feel pain

8. only to attack

10. superhuman capabilities

11. and the power to fly

12. They showed no mercy

13. and ate metals for fuel

14. They looked to the heavens

15. and worshipped their cruel master

16. the evil overlord

17. Their foes were afraid

18. Their judges were afraid

19. Their own parents were afraid

20. The robots of the 2012 US Women’s Gymnastics Team

Much love,
Virgin Mobile

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