1. "There's literally nowhere I haven't peed"
2. "I fear you're not taking this seriously, Jillian"
3. "Don't you have a poop box to scoop?"
4. "You know I can hear you talking about me, right?"
5. "She better not ruin our peanut butter game"
6. "You're not my real mom!"
7. "Sometimes I think I'm adopted"
8. "Ugh, I asked for ice cream tuna cake you idiots"
9. "That's life, kid. Learn it now."
10. "Feline diabetes is no laughing matter, Carl"
11. "Why am I always the bad guy in this relationship?"
12. "Oh, no, yeah. It's scary. I'm scared."
13. "Sometimes I wish I was declawed"
14. "Mouth wash. Buy it."
15. "I swear I will crap on your car some day"
16. "You don't pay me to care, that's why"
17. "For the last time, I do not like KISS"
18. "How are you not getting that this is my ledge?"
19. "I've got the urge to Herbal . . . all over your carpet"
20. "This is my life meow"
21. "You think you're so great with your height and your thumbs"
22. "I just wants basic cable, Jerry. BASIC."
23. "I'm fine. Let's just, can we please go home?"
24. "No, I love it. Really."
25. "OK. Nope. I'm out."
#Obviously - Virgin Mobile