Important Life Lessons You Should Learn From Limp Bizkit’s Guitarist

“Don’t be in Limp Bizkit,” surprisingly, did not make Wes Borland’s list of tips on how to improve your life.

1. Get ready, because you’re about to learn the secrets of truly living well.

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2. And thank fucking god for that, because I seriously didn’t know how I was going to keep on going the way that I have been before I read the 70—70—tweets that make up Eat, Pray, Limp: The Wes Borland Guide To Love, Laughter, And Life.

3. For real, though? A lot of what he tweeted is useful/relatable in the bland way that horoscopes can be. It’s weirdly soothing to be told things like this, albeit by a man who is creatively partnered with Fred Durst:

7. (Okay, so it’s sort of hard not to find these totally charming, no matter how ridiculous they are.)

10. And sometimes his advice is even useful, if a little gross.

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14. Oh, no. Do I have a crush on Wes Borland after reading these?

16. Yeah, I guess I do. This is the worst.

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