3. “Seriously, why do you keep locking this thing every time you go in there with your iPad.”
4. “Hey when’s dinner? Take your time! We’ll be right here when you’re done.”
5. “Rule #651: Never poop alone. Don’t worry, we got you this time!”
Here Are The Top Stories
- Airplane debris discovered Wednesday on the coast of the French island of Réunion "very likely" belongs to the same type of aircraft as missing Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, Malaysian Prime Minister Najib Razak said.
- A University of Cincinnati officer has been charged with murder for shooting Samuel Dubose, an unarmed black man.
- Uber drivers waiting for ride requests near the International Airport of Mexico City were pelted with rocks, sticks, eggs, and flour on Wednesday. Local authorities are investigating the incident.