Maid Of Honor’s Hilarious Reception Rap Riffs On Eminem’s “Without Me”

Best. little. sister. ever.

1. The little sister of the bride, Jennifer Gabrielli, broke out this rap out at the reception as a surprise to the bride and groom.

Jennifer, you are a badass.

2. Eminem’s “Without Me,” for comparison’s sake.

3. And here are the full lyrics to Jennifer’s version:


“Without Me”

Jennifer Gabrielli

Maid of Honor Speech

Two lovers in love walked down the aisle, down the aisle, down the aisle

Two lovers in love walked down the aisle, down the aisle, down the aisle

Guess who’s here, to get wed

Cole and Blake, clap your hands

Cole and Blake,

Cole and Blake,

Cole and Blake,

Cole and Blake…

[Verse 1]

I’ve created a monster, ‘cause she doesn’t want to

See “Gabs” no more, she wants “Carroll,” we’re chopped liver

Well if you want Carroll, this is what I’ll give ya

A big party, but you can’t drink hard liquor

Back in time, it all started online

Blake said he was fine, but his friends knew he was lying

Big Spoon wasn’t operatin’

He couldn’t find a Match with a high-wife rating

He waited so long, then set up with Megan,

She was whack, Nicole’s feedback said we should be datin’

They found love, I saw it escalatin’, a marriage in the works they were speculatin’

So they met Cece down by the sea, and at the Montage he got down on one knee

He said, “Without you, I just can’t be. So won’t you be my Mrs. C?”

Put on this ring, pick out a dress,

Call up your girls, and make the guest list

We’ve gone steady, but now I know that we’re ready

Wanna be with you forever,

LET’S GET MARRIED!

[Chorus 2x]

Now this looks like it’s meant to be, so everybody just toast with me

Raise your glasses if you’re thirsty

‘Cause tonight we’re here to P-PAR-TEE

[Verse 2]

A little hellion, but I wasn’t rebellious

Sorry I was always so reckless

I just wanted to be like my big sis,

But when I was wrong, she told and I yelled “SNITCH!”

We were matchin’, matchin’ in fashion

Even Barb was in on the action, that’s fact

So let’s just revel and bask, in the fact that everyone was likin’ our class

It was laughable, I thought it was fine,

But you had enough when you turned nine

Well it’s back

Every Christmas we’re in our jama jama jama’s

Enter’s Blake, and, he REALLY seemed to linger

New center of attention, moved in for the winter!

He was guesting, investing in nesting

Knew Nicole was it, didn’t need no testing

Excuse me, attention please?

Apprehension, but knew that they were meant to be

Got their townhouse, down by the sea

But they wouldn’t have me as their third roomie

[Chorus 2x]

Now this looks like it’s meant to be, so everybody just toast with me

Raise your glasses if you’re thirsty

‘Cause tonight we’re here to P-PAR-TEE

(second time) (It’s the wedding of the century!)

[Verse 3]

Through thin and thick they ain’t gonna quit

Everybody’s talking about this great fit

Blake, he don’t wanna get his butt kicked

Toilet seat’s down and he does the dishes

Guarantee you’ll grow the family tree

Some pretty cute babies, we can all agree

You know Nicole, wants thirty or more

Too much to pay for

So Blake said four

Let’s go, just give me some nieces,

A nephew so Barb doesn’t fall to pieces

I’ll be there, day or night, rain or shine

I’m gonna treat your kids like they were mine

But sometimes it may just seem

Matrimony ain’t what you thought it’d be

But this just means that you’re growing

Fights are part of the routine

Though I’m not the first to congratulate ya

I have the best toast since Bob, the father

I want you both to know I love ya

And without warning I’ll pop on over

Here’s a true love that works

You found someone who knows your worth

You’ll change your last name, but I won’t cry, cause I love you bigger than the sky

[Chorus 2x]

Now this looks like it’s meant to be, so everybody please toast with me

Raise your glasses if you’re thirsty

‘Cause tonight we’re here to P-PAR-TEE

(second time) (It’s the wedding of the century!)

Maid of Honor. Out.

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

Facebook Conversations
          
    More News
    Now Buzzing