Oh wow. I love it… Can someone hand me the remote?
Oh, it matches that sweater vest your mom got me for my birthday.
A tie. Awesome. Now, can someone please turn off the freaking air conditioning before we get our $1000 electric bill?
Three things I love more than anything: ties, being held like a baby, and my kids. Actually, only one of those is something I actually love.
I just threw up a little. No, it has nothing to do with the tie.
A black bow tie… Yes, this is EXACTLY what I like to wear to work. How did you know?
I love the tie, Stephanie. I’ll wear it right now. Will you go ask your mom if dinner is ready?
Your mom and I are going to need to need a moment alone in the other room, kids. Just watch TV.
I love this tie almost as much as I love America, and I love America just a little more than I love you.
Oh, Bob got one with flowers too. Maybe we can wear them on the same day! I’ll call him right now!
No, Jeff, I am not going to wear my flower tie to work on Monday. No. No. NO.
Uncle Sam didn’t get ANYTHING from his kids! Why don’t you call your cousins and tell them they’re assholes?
This is actually a really nice tie. No, I’m not surprised.
This tie looks like a napkin. I mean, a very fancy and thoughtful napkin. I love you.
STACY, A RAINBOW? You let them buy me a RAINBOW TIE? Come on.
If only you’d gotten me a life size version of this car instead.