1. American college isn't really a 'college' at all
2. This is a college
3. You go to college at 16 in the UK. You go to American college when you're 18
So everyone is really mature and eager to learn.
4. But remember: it's illegal to drink alcohol if you're under 21
5. Unless you do it from a red cup - it's a weird local bylaw
6. The most important day of your life will be when you're admitted to the college of your dreams
7. Because the alternative to college, is:
8. However, only three types of people get to go to college:
1. The super-smart
2. The super rich
3. People who can run good
9. While we in the UK just have groups of friends: Americans have 'fraternities' and 'sororities'
It's where they group like-minded people so that jerks and their natural enemies, dweebs, will never have to meet.
10. Sororities and Fraternities all have Greek names because they were founded by the Ancient Greeks
11. If you join a fraternity or sorority you get to live in that group's luxury house
This is a fraternity, according to stock image sites.
12. This is a sorority
According to stock image sites.
13. If you choose not to join a fraternity or sorority you'll be put in dorms and given a psychometric test to find a roommate
14. The biggest test you'll ever face is learning to get on with your roommate
Other things you should know about American college life:
15. If you're a female college applicant, you're handed a uniform on arrival:
16. College professors are highly paid individuals specially trained at reading Powerpoint presentations
17. Classes are optional
18. Pranks are a way of life
19. Coffee is a God to be worshipped
20. At some point you'll be forced to do a keg stand
21. Springbreak is their version of the Easter Holidays
Think you've learnt enough to blend in at an American college? These guys probably haven't:
View this video on YouTube
22 Jump Street, available on Amazon Instant Video.